This is equal-opportunity advice, because thinking or acting like an old maid is a personality trait that can be acquired by both sexes. You know the signs — chiefly Rigidity with a capital R, refusal to consider another way of solving a problem. Simply put, it's old maids' way or the highway. (Better keep a knapsack handy!) Sometimes it takes a while to recognize this sour trait in an acquaintance, but once you do, the final scene isn't far away. Old maids — male and female — must have the tiniest detail meet their approval. Recognize anyone in your universe? Old or young, control freaks eventually make the people around them edgy, tense, unsure of themselves. So they are ultimately left alone to stew in their own discontent. It's a pathetic tale, tearfully told by repenting old maids.

If you or anyone you care about sounds terribly similar to the object of my rant, let's stop for a moment to look up close and perhaps get personal. If you (yes, you) agonize over handing over the television remote or (gulp) use a booming voice to dominate what was to be a friendly discussion, it may be time you knew that your odds of getting close — really close — to a beloved are quite small, unless you catch a whiff of recognition from these words and make yourself a binding oath to change the way you view the world of people. In a love dyad, you must relinquish some of your individual power if you are to gain fellowship. It's a trade-off, dear reader. I strongly suggest you swallow hard and give it thought of the very deepest kind. I have — often. Through some twists and turns of the mind — and with feelings blurring into the present moment — I've come down on the side of sharing. Yes, there are old wounds that take their toll, sad and soulful memories resurfacing to have their moment in the sun. But always, always, the insistent pulsing of opening arms as a gesture of loving friendship wins the day. And the heart.

When you have a moment, write and share your thoughts. They are precious to me, as are you.

Switching gears, from The New York Times comes advice on what to do — and what not to do — during divorce. Practice yoga, meditation or any other stress-reducing activity (ballroom dancing and running included). The activity should interest you, calm your nerves and stimulate your appetite. And do remember to eat regularly! (The exclamation point is mine.) But if you can't keep food down, drink smoothies. And do consult a nutritionist if you consistently lose weight. Be aware that stress can manifest itself in many different ways. You can lose or gain weight or possibly maintain weight yet still feel overwrought. What to avoid? Extreme exercise, making a candy bar your snack/meal, replacing food with alcohol, overusing meal delivery apps and ignoring the problem, whatever it is, especially if you feel weak.

Have a question for Susan? You can reach her directly at [email protected].

Photo credit: Anthony Quintano