DR. WALLACE: This is the time of year I simultaneously love and despise, the summer! I welcome the warmer weather after a very cold winter in my part of the country. I like going to visit many different beaches on vacation and to lakes where I usually enjoy swimming in the bright sunshine, but this year it's different.
Unfortunately, during the winter months I've gained some serious weight and when I tried on my bathing suit, I fell out of it in all the wrong places. My very best friend told me that fasting is a way to get rid of these ugly pounds very quickly and that I can make this happen in two short weeks! I'm excited to get started on this.
My best girlfriend told me to drink only water and to eat no food at all. She said it would be hard to do at first, but that I can do it. My friend said I could lose a pound a day safely this way. If this is true and safe, I will absolutely lay off food for the next two weeks and I'll guzzle just as much water as I can so that my stomach can feel full. I need some body sculpting fast and this seems like just the ticket for me. — Need a Reshaping, via email
NEED A RESHAPING: Medical doctors and nutritionists agree that only a healthy nutritional eating plan designed especially for you is the safest way to lose weight. There is no safe shortcut!
I suggest you schedule a meeting as soon as possible with your family physician and ask to be set up with a healthy eating plan that would be designed for you to hopefully lose one pound per week. Remember, it took almost a year to gain those extra pounds so it will take time to shed them as well.
As with most things in life, quick fixes rarely come without caveats and when it comes to your body and health, I advise you not to succumb to such a dangerous fasting scheme. Never attempt to lose a large amount of weight in a time period as short as two weeks. It's much too dangerous.
WHO DID I MARRY?
DR. WALLACE: I met a woman on a dating website six months ago and we immediately started exclusively dating each other. We were friendly and happy; we met each other's family and friends. After our whirlwind courtship I can now tell you that we've been married for a month — and I'm shocked to tell you that I don't know this person I married at all! She has frequent outbursts of anger, and she yells and throws things around the house in a rage at the drop of a hat.
I am intimidated by this behavior even though I'm a guy who stands five full inches taller and 50 pounds heavier than her. She's only a slightly big girl, but she looks like a large grizzly bear to me when she rises up in anger.
She didn't act this way before we were married at all; her behavior then was not even close to what I'm now seeing on a daily basis! I don't understand any of this and am now really worried about our short-term chances of staying together, much less the long term. What can — or should — I do in this situation? And please don't tell me this grizzly mama might simply be protecting her cubs, as neither of us brought children into this marriage. — I Married a Stranger, via email
I MARRIED A STRANGER: It sounds like you didn't get to know your wife very well before your wedding. These outbursts you describe are definitely red-flag issues and need to be addressed if you want the marriage to continue successfully.
Suggest to her that the two of you seek counseling together to address what underlying issues may be triggering her outbursts. Your letter did not mention what you felt was the cause of them and did not address other aspects of how the two of you speak to each other at home and how you two generally get along in public and in private.
Please seek out a professional counselor and get help immediately. It may be possible that your marriage can be saved if triggers causing this behavior can be identified and addressed.
Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected] To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.
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