I Chose Life for My Daughter

By Dr. Robert Wallace

November 17, 2018 4 min read

DR. WALLACE: This is in response to the 18-year-old girl who found out that she was pregnant. Her boyfriend and her mother were encouraging her to get an abortion. She didn't like that idea, but she was unsure how she could deal with a baby while being an unwed mother.

I have a safe and sane solution for her. I was in the identical situation two years ago. Three months before I was to graduate, I found out I was pregnant. I knew that my parents would be hurt and upset when they found out, so I went to my school guidance counselor and together we decided to tell my mother and dad. At first, they were shocked, but soon they helped me with their love and support.

After in a lot of discussion, I decided to give my baby to a loving couple by way of adoption. Many mothers hear the word "adoption" and think that they could never give their baby away. Adoptions today have changed from what they once were. I went to an agency that gave me profiles of childless, loving couples looking to adopt. After reviewing all the profiles, I chose the parents who would raise my baby. We did not meet personally, but we corresponded by mail, and soon I felt I had known them a long time.

Then I went to a support group. Several pregnant girls who were going to place their babies in adoptive homes met once a month with counselors. Together, we discussed our feelings about adoption.

I gave birth to a daughter in July of 2017. On that day, I got to spend as much time as I wanted with my daughter. My parents, grandparents and my best friend all came to the hospital to see a beautiful baby girl and a happy mother.

After signing legal papers, I received the chance to talk with the adoptive parents by phone. It was a wonderful chance to tell them about how I was doing and to hear their voices for the first time.

Three months later, I received a letter from the adoptive parents along with a picture of my daughter. We have agreed to correspond every Christmas, and they will keep me informed of my daughter's progress. It has been arranged that I will get the opportunity to meet my daughter on her 18th birthday. I am looking forward to that time. I have a full-time job, attend college part-time, and I'm happy with my life. Please print my letter. I want the 18-year-old young lady who wrote to you for advice to know that adoption is a viable option for her to consider as well. — Anonymous, Las Vegas

ANONYMOUS: Thank you very much for sharing your experience. It will bring comfort and another option to consider for many teen girls who need to make a very important life decision. I wish you the very best and hope you do get that opportunity to meet your child in the future.

CAN PARENTS STOP MOVE?

DR. WALLACE: I'm 16 and live with a father I dislike very much for a number of reasons and with a mother I totally despise. I have an opportunity to move in with a buddy family, but my parents refuse to allow me to go there. When I asked them why, they wouldn't give me a good answer.

I feel like I am old enough to decide where I want to live. Can my parents stop me from moving? — Anonymous, via email

ANONYMOUS: if you're under age 18, the answer is yes. If you are having big problems at home, you should seek out a trusted adult to provide you with guidance and advice. A teacher, school counselor or principal would be a good place to start.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected] To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

Photo credit: at Pixabay

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