Stop Being Old-Fashioned

By Dr. Robert Wallace

March 17, 2018 4 min read

DR. WALLACE: What are you trying to do? You feel that making love is wrong just because the couple is not married. I'm 19 and have had a couple of affairs and while I no longer see these guys, I have no regrets. I enjoyed the time I spent with them and would do it again.

If you're in love and take the proper precautions, what's wrong with making love even if you're not married? Sex is beautiful and natural. It is not something to fear. Stop being old-fashioned and wake up! This is 2018, not 1818. — Elese, Yonkers, N.Y.

ELESE: Premarital sex has caused much grief to many teens. The trauma of a pregnant unmarried teen speaks for itself. Last year over 2 million children were born in the United States and Canada to unwed teen-age girls.

Please read the following letter. It was written by a teen, not an old-fashioned columnist who needs to wake up and discover that it's 2018:

DR. WALLACE: It's too late for me, but I hope my message will help other young women to wait until marriage before engaging in a sexual relationship with a guy you think you love.

Rick and I had been dating for over three months. I thought that we were in love so I agreed with him that we could start a sexual relationship. He was 20 and I was 19 so I thought that we were mature enough to have sex. At first we had sex "occasionally," but as time went by we were sexually intimate every time we dated. We would eat out, see a movie, go bowling, etc., but we always wound up having sex in his apartment. We used protection, so I wasn't worrying about becoming pregnant even though I was uncomfortable with our sexual affair.

It seems as if our love abated and sex kept us together. Then the "impossible" happened. I became pregnant. I believed that this would cause us to get married. Boy, was I wrong. Rick's lawyer father convinced me to have an abortion and he would pay for it. That's what happened. After the abortion Rick no longer wanted to see me. He said that he had met another young woman so that meant our "love affair" was over.

I am extremely sorry that I thought love and sex were synonymous. They aren't! Now, every day I'm haunted with the thought of having an abortion. It will haunt me the rest of my life.

Young women, please never equate sex and love in a pre-marital relationship. If Rick and I had been married and the pregnancy was blessed by both of us we would be the happy parents of a child given to us by the mercy of God.

Girls, please take what I wrote seriously. Have the "intestinal fortitude" to say: "If you truly love me, you won't pressure me into a sexual relationship." You could wind up like I did — alone and haunted for life over my mistake! — Nameless, Norfolk, Va.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. E-mail him at [email protected] To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at

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