Dear Annie: I have been dating my boyfriend for eight months now, though we have known each other for 12 years. I think he is a great man. I have a problem with his cellphone, though. We go out to dinner and he lays the phone next to his plate and is always looking at it. I never say much to him, but I did say something to him this past weekend, and he said I was nitpicking. I just think it's rude. — Aggravated

Dear Aggravated: If you think it's rude, then it is rude. You are not nitpicking; you are simply asking for him to treat you in a way that you would like to be treated. You are having dinner with him, not with his phone.

Dear Annie: In 2015, I met a man through a dating website. We got together shortly after and I was enamored by him. For the next five years we seldom got together in person, but we had almost daily contact via texts and such. I didn't mind this at first because I was overweight at the time and overwhelmed with caring for my parents, who have since died.

I stopped communicating with him in late 2020 because our relationship was going nowhere. Five months ago, in 2023, he got in touch with me, but it is just like before. Lots of excuses for not getting together, but constant texts, and explicit photos and videos. I learned through the grapevine that he is not married but has been dating someone for the last two years.

Why does a man do this, and what does it say about me that I allow it? We are not teenagers but both in our 60s. His real relationships tend to only last two to three years, and his exes have nothing good to say about him. — Wondering

Dear Wondering: If it didn't work before and he has not changed his ways, then chances are you are wasting your time and it won't work again. Run 100 miles from this guy.

Dear Annie: When my wife, stepson and I go out to dinner, they usually do not order dessert. I like to order dessert fairly often. My wife has told me in no uncertain terms, and more than once, that it is rude to order dessert when no one else is having it.

This admonishment, by the way, is being delivered by a spouse who cannot refrain from using her phone for nonemergencies during every (and I mean every) meal at a restaurant. Would you please weigh in over our dispute about dessert? — A Family Dilemma

Dear Family Dilemma: It sounds like you are each being difficult with the other. If you want to order dessert, then you should order dessert and enjoy it. If you are taking forever to eat the dessert, then yes, maybe it is a bit rude. Is it possible your wife and stepson are watching their weight and don't want to contemplate dessert, much less be forced to sit and watch you eat yours?

Have a calm conversation with your wife about her cellphone use and your dessert eating, and I'll bet you can work out a compromise that unravels your dilemma.

"How Can I Forgive My Cheating Partner?" is out now! Annie Lane's second anthology — featuring favorite columns on marriage, infidelity, communication and reconciliation — is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit http://www.creatorspublishing.com for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to [email protected].

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