If only we women could be more secure about our age (and our wrinkles) and get comfortable with the idea of being with a younger man. Europeans have been onto the arrangement (unashamedly) for years. When will we get the message? After all, young men have vitality, enthusiasm, passion and a far more flexible viewpoint toward the female gender. They're not ruled by shoulds and should-nots, gender roles and propriety. Think about it, ladies.
Friendships are the bulwark of a successful single life. The good feelings that flow between two people on the same wavelength provide emotional nourishment and a dependable safety net in times of need. And oddly, the more friendship you give to those around you the more comes pouring back into your life. (But hoarding only reduces the inventory, in an interesting twist.) Make your circle of friends wide and inclusive, a rich mixture of ages and occupations.
Society raises an eyebrow when it comes to former lovers keeping their friendship. For some mysterious (and absurd) reason, popular opinion is not at all comfortable with the concept of two people formerly joined by romantic feelings having the wisdom and courage to salvage their warmth and respect and use them to build a different kind of togetherness. Sharing liking after loving is not only possible; it can be desirable.
School days may be over in the formal sense, but this month — any month, actually — is the right time to prepare for lessons in Life 101, the class we're all attending every day of our lives. No backpack or lunchbox needed, but it would help if you sat down and rethought your goals for the next 12 months.
It's a huge problem for young adults (for one reason or another, mainly financial) to move back in with their parents. It's far from easy to maintain independence when you're living under the same roof as the people who set the rules in your teens. To help defuse the arrangement, I believe in intergenerational meetings to keep the lines of communication open and thoughts and feelings flowing freely. Maybe a third party can be added to the meeting occasionally, to make sure goodwill is maintained. Not easy, any way you slice it.
I wonder whether the sexual revolution ever happened. Seriously! If there have been advances in the ways we deal with our sexuality, it remains to be seen by this guiding light of singleworld. Yes, we speak more about our bodies and use words that once had to be whispered in private, but in our heart of hearts, are we truly more liberated about our flesh, more accepting of the primal urges that rule it? From the letters that come to me, I would say the jury is out.
DEAR READERS: We've uncovered a treasure-trove of "Single File" paperbacks — in perfect condition, ready to read. Send $15 and your address to: Susan Deitz, C/O Creators Syndicate, 737 Third St., Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. I'll send you a signed copy.
Have a question for Susan? You can reach her directly at [email protected]