Dear AnnieĀ® from Creators Syndicate https://www.creators.com/read/dear-annie Creators Syndicate is an international syndication company that represents cartoonists and columnists of the highest caliber. en Mon, 15 Jul 2019 16:40:44 -0700 https://www.creators.com/ http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss Dear AnnieĀ® from Creators Syndicate https://cdn.creators.com/features/dear-annie-thumb.jpg https://www.creators.com/read/dear-annie f14e960747bc2e1d376aad2484d39dc1 Wanting a Walking Partner for 07/15/2019 https://www.creators.com/read/dear-annie/07/19/wanting-a-walking-partner Mon, 15 Jul 2019 00:00:00 -0700 <p></p><p>Dear Annie: My husband and I are very close. We have been married for 27 years and agree on most things and share many common interests. There is only one issue where we differ, and I'd like to hear suggestions for how I can help him to change, so he will join me in my daily walks.</p> <p>I love to walk, and I make it a point to walk at least two miles every day. My parents walked together every night after dinner, and they lived into their 80s and had a very close marriage. My brother and I joined them many nights when we were younger, and I have great memories of that family time together.<p>Updated: Mon Jul 15, 2019</p> 3b85261319ed9e6a0fe1c01b0b64d9b9 Heirloom Hostility for 07/14/2019 https://www.creators.com/read/dear-annie/07/19/heirloom-hostility Sun, 14 Jul 2019 00:00:00 -0700 <p></p><p>Dear Annie: My mother very sadly passed away in January from cancer. She had a ring of my grandfather's that was very special to her, and I wanted to have it because I knew how much it meant to her. My stepfather gave it to me.</p> <p>Now, last week, my grandmother (her mother) who has pretty much always made both my mother and me feel like second-class citizens in our family, called and asked me if I had the ring. I told her that I did. She went on to tell me basically that she never wanted my mother to have the ring. It was meant for my uncle but that she knew he wouldn't wear it, so she let my mom have it.<p>Updated: Sun Jul 14, 2019</p> f2f4206564e1cf5e7bc27a320800b3fb Balancing Brother's Needs and Limitations for 07/13/2019 https://www.creators.com/read/dear-annie/07/19/balancing-brothers-needs-and-limitations Sat, 13 Jul 2019 00:00:00 -0700 <p></p><p>Dear Annie: My older brother is disabled. He was quite functional after he first had a stroke, but did not take care of himself. He wouldn't take his medications, ate unhealthy food, drank too much and watched TV all day. </p> <p>As a result, he is now very disabled. Has difficulty walking, talking, falls a lot and cannot control his bodily functions. On top of that, he is stubborn and lies constantly. His kids and grandchild moved out because they were tired of dealing with him. <p>Updated: Sat Jul 13, 2019</p> bbb8204e1b043d48cc23deb7b21b0e5f Should We Go the Distance? for 07/12/2019 https://www.creators.com/read/dear-annie/07/19/should-we-go-the-distance Fri, 12 Jul 2019 00:00:00 -0700 <p></p><p>Dear Annie: I will be moving soon &#8212; several states away &#8212; and I'm torn about the state of my relationship. I've been with my significant other for five years. That's not something I can easily let go of. But we have been growing apart for some time now, and we've discussed that we both feel we'll break up eventually.</p> <p>Our communication is second to none. He's game to make the move with me, but I worry that it wouldn't be good for him &#8212; or for me &#8212; in the long run, considering we agree we don't want to stay together all that much longer. Of course, he could move with me and find self-growth opportunities in our new place of residence. That part can happen independent of me, and our current relationship, should it come to an end. <p>Updated: Fri Jul 12, 2019</p> d5d8d30347d82d8a9655e7dc9a388610 Wanted: Real Customer Service for 07/11/2019 https://www.creators.com/read/dear-annie/07/19/wanted-real-customer-service Thu, 11 Jul 2019 00:00:00 -0700 <p></p><p>Dear Annie: Am I the only one who feels that life is too complicated these days and that I feel absolutely powerless when it comes to calling a big company to get service? I am old enough to remember the days when we bought a television, put it in the car, drove home, plugged it in, played with the "rabbit ears" for a minute and then were able to watch TV.</p> <p>Today, when you buy a television, it is a major project. If it's a big-screen TV, someone usually has to deliver it, and then you need to make an appointment with an installer. It always takes much longer for them to install than they plan. <p>Updated: Thu Jul 11, 2019</p> 079a8a665edf5265c151c3a7d57e989b Walking Down the Aisle Without Drama for 07/10/2019 https://www.creators.com/read/dear-annie/07/19/walking-down-the-aisle-without-drama Wed, 10 Jul 2019 00:00:00 -0700 <p></p><p>Dear Annie: I'm getting married in a few months, and I'm paying for everything myself. My parents are divorced and not on good terms, but I have a good relationship with both of them and want them there.</p> <p>Recently, my mom said she expects me to ask my grandfather (her father) to walk me down the aisle because "he's the one that's really been there for you." I told her no, and, while I love my grandfather, I want my dad to do it. Mom said absolutely not, adding, "That deadbeat doesn't deserve it."<p>Updated: Wed Jul 10, 2019</p> 1ea664c49bb01fd0df957ae6a54276dd Jealousy Rearing Its Ugly Head for 07/09/2019 https://www.creators.com/read/dear-annie/07/19/jealousy-rearing-its-ugly-head Tue, 09 Jul 2019 00:00:00 -0700 <p></p><p>Dear Annie: I will turn 65 this year and can't help but look back on my life. For the most part, until recently at least, I was feeling very satisfied. I was married right out of college, at 22, to the wrong person, and we split up after 10 months. She has since been married four times. But I found the ideal person for me, and we were married when I turned 30 and have been together &#8212; happily &#8212; ever since.</p> <p>We have one child, our beautiful daughter who will graduate from college next year. My wife and I tried to inculcate her with the importance of education and self-esteem, and we are very proud of her.<p>Updated: Tue Jul 09, 2019</p> 4dd288cee200233efeeab4e463548cd7 Intermittent Fasting Fan for 07/08/2019 https://www.creators.com/read/dear-annie/07/19/intermittent-fasting-fan Mon, 08 Jul 2019 00:00:00 -0700 <p></p><p>Dear Annie: I have discovered something that your readers might find helpful, and if you agree, I hope that you will print my letter.</p> <p>For the past 20 years, I have wanted to lose the same 10 pounds. In fact, I have lost them dozens of times and then regained them after going off whatever diet I tried. And I have tried them all!<p>Updated: Mon Jul 08, 2019</p> 866f09795a158ff2030f2fb76e7869e7 Breaking Free From Abusive Behavior for 07/07/2019 https://www.creators.com/read/dear-annie/07/19/breaking-free-from-abusive-behavior Sun, 07 Jul 2019 00:00:00 -0700 <p></p><p>Dear Annie: My husband and I have been married for 1 1/2 years, though we started going out more than three years ago. We should still be at the honeymoon stage in our relationship, but I am writing because he has changed recently in really bad ways. He calls me names, puts me down, belittles me and makes me feel worthless. </p> <p>Before this, he begged me to give up my apartment and move into his house. Yet recently, he made it clear that I would never be on the deed. I have a child from my first marriage, and initially my husband welcomed her with open arms. Now he doesn't acknowledge her existence. He tells me that he loves me and can't live without me. Well, he hasn't done one thing to make me feel that way. <p>Updated: Sun Jul 07, 2019</p> 46caa7f8252cd55073c08eaa885ee262 Unwelcome Kindnesses of Aging for 07/06/2019 https://www.creators.com/read/dear-annie/07/19/unwelcome-kindnesses-of-aging Sat, 06 Jul 2019 00:00:00 -0700 <p>Dear Annie: I find that I have a real problem with aging. When a flight attendant nicely says, "This way, young lady," I want to punch him. I can't stand the condescension! I hate being old. I am 76 and, while I still maintain an active life &#8212; teaching elementary school music and dance part time, and directing plays and musicals &#8212; I have found that I have finally begun to look my age. </p> <p>This causes people in the Czech Republic, for example (where I am humiliatingly able to travel free on the trains and buses), to try to give me their seats and for people who don't know me to treat me with deference. While that seems like a good thing, it is not. </p> <p>I think it is reasonable to be deferential to people with disabilities. I would very much prefer not being looked upon as someone with a disability because I am old.<p>Updated: Sat Jul 06, 2019</p> 9d55877b416b60480e4133c0d2043a1b Advice to Be Patient for 07/05/2019 https://www.creators.com/read/dear-annie/07/19/advice-to-be-patient Fri, 05 Jul 2019 00:00:00 -0700 <p></p><p>Dear Annie: I just read the letter from "Missing My Son" and felt compelled to write a response. I, too, was in a bad marriage for 17 years. We only had one child, a son. I was trying to stay in the marriage for the sake of our son, but after many months of therapy, and the therapist making a comment that the longer our son remained in the volatile environment, the more likely he would be to treat women the same as I was being treated, I filed for divorce. Our son was 9. </p> <p>My ex continued to treat me (and our son) horribly for the next nine years, until our son was headed to college. I made every attempt to be civil with my ex, as I didn't want to deal with his vengeful acts. Though my ex rarely saw our son after our divorce, our son put his dad on a pedestal. Mind you, my ex had been cheating on me for many years and eventually moved in with the lady a year after our divorce, but my son still idolized his dad. <p>Updated: Fri Jul 05, 2019</p> c422b99505cce30672dfe7c2be7be57d Celebrating Independence Day for 07/04/2019 https://www.creators.com/read/dear-annie/07/19/celebrating-independence-day Thu, 04 Jul 2019 00:00:00 -0700 <p></p><p>Dear Annie: This is to the woman whose 81-year-old mother was about to be scammed out of $10,000. I would suggest that you get your mother's bank involved. If she will go with you, see if you can get your mom to sit down with an account representative for some advice. Banks see this kind of thing happen all the time and usually try to do everything they can to prevent their customers from being taken in by con artists. </p> <p>Even if your mom won't listen to you, she might listen to her bankers. Good luck. &#8212; A Bank Employee<p>Updated: Thu Jul 04, 2019</p> 11f008d1fa0e894d310bc4b05bc729ba Kicking the In-Laws Out for 07/03/2019 https://www.creators.com/read/dear-annie/07/19/kicking-the-in-laws-out Wed, 03 Jul 2019 00:00:00 -0700 <p></p><p>Dear Annie: My in-laws who live across the country have basically tricked us into agreeing to host them for almost a month. Here is how it happened:</p> <p>My father-in-law (who almost never travels, unless it's for his benefit) asked to stay with us so that he and his wife could spend time with family. We were under the impression that this would be for a weekend.<p>Updated: Wed Jul 03, 2019</p> 855be034c99f793e63b63cc7985436c0 Exploring Sexuality or Avoiding Stress for 07/02/2019 https://www.creators.com/read/dear-annie/07/19/exploring-sexuality-or-avoiding-stress Tue, 02 Jul 2019 00:00:00 -0700 <p></p><p>Dear Annie: I've been going through a lot lately, and it's taken an emotional toll. Among other things, I'm in love with someone I can't have. My family is a mess, too. My parents should have divorced a long time ago but are still married, probably just to avoid the hassle of splitting up. My brother's mentally unstable, and while I do absolutely everything I can to support him, that takes a toll on my own well-being.</p> <p>In my own life, I've found myself exploring my sexuality &#8212; which is, of course, an important and beautiful part of figuring out one's identity. I'm having a good time, but I am concerned that I'm using this exploration to cope with the stressful stuff I'm going through. Every day spent without the person I love is full of heartache. So, as much as I believe that sex can be wholesome, I worry I'm partaking for the wrong reasons. Any advice as to how I can tell the difference between positive sexual experiences and sex for the sake of distraction? &#8212; Coping Via Sex<p>Updated: Tue Jul 02, 2019</p> eff181d66b55f5d490bc8fef956b7a0d Adding Pets to Your Disaster Preparedness Plans for 07/01/2019 https://www.creators.com/read/dear-annie/06/19/adding-pets-to-your-disaster-preparedness-plans Mon, 01 Jul 2019 00:00:00 -0700 <p></p><p>Dear Annie: I have a message I hope you will please share.</p> <p>The last several years have seen numerous natural disasters. The human toll has been great, but there are thousands of other victims that have no voice. Pets, especially cats, are left behind. I encourage all pet owners to have a disaster plan for their pets. Please make sure you have some basic supplies that are readily accessible. Carriers, medications, leashes, working flashlights to help find them if it's dark or if the power is out. If there is time, food, bowls and beds would be great, too. I even keep brand-new pet playpens, folded up and ready to go so I have a portable house that can be set up. Make sure and have the ones with a zippered floor, not Velcro, or pets can escape.<p>Updated: Mon Jul 01, 2019</p> 073cf27f1d507a9f14d658f45f5ac04b Struggling in the Office Space for 06/30/2019 https://www.creators.com/read/dear-annie/06/19/struggling-in-the-office-space Sun, 30 Jun 2019 00:00:00 -0700 <p></p><p>Dear Annie: I have some co-workers who irritate me. The work we do is intense and stressful, so I can't easily mind my own business. This is designed to be a collaborative work environment. And yet, I am usually feeling like a lone ranger. I have brought this up to one of the co-workers in question but was met with little empathy. </p> <p>I'd like to talk to a higher-up &#8212; not as a means of snitching but as a means of finding understanding and even advice. But I worry that my talking to a higher-up would get back to the co-workers and make them resent me for going over their heads. Ideally, yes, I'd work this out with them directly. But history has shown me that they're unreceptive to my way of looking at things. They don't make meaningful strides to change their behavior. I do like this job, but this is tempting me to quit. Would that be an overreaction? Or are isolating co-workers enough justification for moving on? It's easy to say, "Just ignore them and focus on your own work," but I see these people for 40-plus hours a week, and they're not good for me. &#8212; Conflicted Co-Worker<p>Updated: Sun Jun 30, 2019</p> 6df46860cc795e7d34b452690eb7a9b9 Insecurity Ruining Friendship for 06/29/2019 https://www.creators.com/read/dear-annie/06/19/insecurity-ruining-friendship Sat, 29 Jun 2019 00:00:00 -0700 <p></p><p>Dear Annie: I have a friend who I have known for many years, and suddenly I have noticed that she is getting possessive with me. She just wants to see me alone, and she questions whether or not I'm seeing other friends when I can't see her at a certain time. She makes comments about how popular I am and makes sarcastic comments about friends liking me better.</p> <p>I know she is insecure, but this subject is difficult to approach with her.<p>Updated: Sat Jun 29, 2019</p> e06dfc680d49e2535f15cc1fce4d1620 Kicking the Coffee Habit for 06/28/2019 https://www.creators.com/read/dear-annie/06/19/kicking-the-coffee-habit Fri, 28 Jun 2019 00:00:00 -0700 <p></p><p>Dear Annie: I used to drink coffee only now and then, just for enjoyment. But since my job has become more intense and stressful, I've found myself needing at least a cup a day to keep me alert and functioning at full capacity. I don't like that I'm dependent on caffeine now. I notice that when I haven't had coffee by noon or so, I feel crabby and headachey. So I keep drinking it daily so I can get my work done. Is there some alternative? I want to be able to work without relying upon everyone's favorite bean. &#8212; Caffeine Dependent</p> <p>Dear Caffeine Dependent: If caffeine is the only thing you are trying to quit, then you are in pretty good shape. However, if you really want to stop drinking coffee, there are lots of great alternatives. Matcha tea is a very popular one. It is a form of green tea made by steaming and grinding the leaves of the Camellia sinensis plant. In contrast to drinking green tea, you are getting the entire leaf with matcha. <p>Updated: Fri Jun 28, 2019</p> bdd68b2cf4b464af501ce3d4ea4c3e83 Techy Toilet Troubles for 06/27/2019 https://www.creators.com/read/dear-annie/06/19/techy-toilet-troubles Thu, 27 Jun 2019 00:00:00 -0700 <p></p><p>Dear Readers: A recent column talked about someone being grossed out when entering a bathroom stall because the previous occupant failed to flush. I was pretty hard on that previous occupant, assuming they were at fault. Quite a few readers pointed out that this might have been a problem of technology and not inconsideration. Here are two of the letters that I really enjoyed reading:</p> <p>Dear Annie: In your May 18 column, "Dismayed in North Carolina" was confronted with an unflushed toilet when entering a stall. Yes, the previous user should have checked, but as one who travels and dines out frequently, I long ago chocked this up to the proliferation of toilets and urinals that flush automatically. <p>Updated: Thu Jun 27, 2019</p> 96f56a58fe8e6d49372a23f448051df7 Overcoming Insensitive Comments for 06/26/2019 https://www.creators.com/read/dear-annie/06/19/overcoming-insensitive-comments Wed, 26 Jun 2019 00:00:00 -0700 <p></p><p>Dear Annie: I endured a very traumatic childhood. I was verbally abused. I was physically abused. I was sexually abused and raped. </p> <p>I'm writing because I want to know the best way to respond to ignorant and insensitive remarks about my childhood. I have been told, "just leave it in the past"; "focus on the positive"; "it's all a mindset"; "forgive and forget"; and "just let it go." I don't feel angry at these people for their remarks. I know they are trying to help and that they just don't understand.<p>Updated: Wed Jun 26, 2019</p>