Dear AnnieĀ® from Creators Syndicate https://www.creators.com/read/dear-annie Creators Syndicate is an international syndication company that represents cartoonists and columnists of the highest caliber. en Mon, 20 Nov 2017 16:50:50 -0800 https://www.creators.com/ http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss Dear AnnieĀ® from Creators Syndicate https://cdn.creators.com/features/dear-annie-thumb.jpg https://www.creators.com/read/dear-annie a6c6c0df6d2ca8cde967870f2d61f3f3 Wanting a Shift for 11/20/2017 https://www.creators.com/read/dear-annie/11/17/wanting-a-shift Mon, 20 Nov 2017 00:00:00 -0800 <p></p><p>Dear Annie: For the past year, I have been working as a licensed nursing assistant, taking care of residents. I love the patients, and I've gotten very close to them. But the facility administration itself doesn't work with employees to meet their needs. I have requested to work morning shifts for months now because my man gets out at 4 p.m. and I want to be able to spend my nights with him and my family or friends. I've made multiple requests, and the administrators can't seem to work around my schedule to give me the shift I'm asking for. After a few weeks of feeling unheard and pushed aside, I started looking at other options for my career. There is a job that could pay me more and still offer benefits I need for my family and future. Should I expand my opportunities and leave or just wait till the shift I want becomes available? &#8212; A Girl Trying to Make a Living</p> <p>Dear AGTTMAL: I think the answer is in your question. You said that leaving this job would mean expanding your opportunities. If the position you're considering makes sense as a career move (beyond just the convenience of the schedule), go for it. But before you give two weeks' notice to your current employer, be sure you've secured the new job &#8212; i.e., you have an offer letter in hand. Good luck.<p>Updated: Mon Nov 20, 2017</p> 5d0a0e111f7cacfa8435f72a4bf891ca Man Wants to Say the Right Things for 11/19/2017 https://www.creators.com/read/dear-annie/11/17/man-wants-to-say-the-right-things Sun, 19 Nov 2017 00:00:00 -0800 <p></p><p>Dear Annie: Recent revelations regarding sexual harassment have prompted me to examine some of my own behavior and actions as they relate to women.</p> <p>I have never raped or knowingly sexually harassed any woman. I have always held women in high regard and tried to treat them with respect and decency. However, I have said some things and acted in certain ways that may have been questionable, though they have been combined with both humor and sincerity. I would like you and your readers to comment on them.<p>Updated: Sun Nov 19, 2017</p> 4dc0d90c84b6e102d35731ae3620bb2b Wedding Guests Left Hanging for 11/18/2017 https://www.creators.com/read/dear-annie/11/17/wedding-guests-left-hanging Sat, 18 Nov 2017 00:00:00 -0800 <p></p><p>Dear Annie: I recently attended a couple of weddings that left me baffled.</p> <p>The custom of most weddings in the Midwest is for the wedding couple and their wedding party to hire a limo, party bus or some other method of transportation to take the whole group around to various bars after the wedding ceremony and before the reception, usually held at another establishment. The guests are free to go to the reception site, and usually some type of refreshment is offered.<p>Updated: Sat Nov 18, 2017</p> fb44ecd088af7df2a0b3bd5ddf1d9189 Taker in the Form of a Giver for 11/17/2017 https://www.creators.com/read/dear-annie/11/17/taker-in-the-form-of-a-giver Fri, 17 Nov 2017 00:00:00 -0800 <p></p><p>Dear Annie: My brother-in-law, "Tom," is 70 years old and a totally disabled Navy veteran. He has been duped by a con man, "Mack."</p> <p>Mack lived upstairs from Tom in an apartment building. Mack started a friendship with Tom, doing errands for him and otherwise helping him. Tom trusted Mack with his debit card, and Mack would go to the grocery for him and pay some of Tom's bills.<p>Updated: Fri Nov 17, 2017</p> fc7735cafe2d78a4c924d662ce2f66f7 No Consequences for Bad Behavior for 11/16/2017 https://www.creators.com/read/dear-annie/11/17/no-consequences-for-bad-behavior Thu, 16 Nov 2017 00:00:00 -0800 <p></p><p>Dear Annie: I am inclined to ask for an outside opinion after spending time with my grandkids at their home last night and witnessing a lot of violent behavior with which they got away. It was an emotional roller coaster. I saw the eldest sibling behaving roughly with his younger siblings. The parents threatened to take away a favorite toy as punishment but then never followed through, nor did they use timeout, which I still think is smart for calming down.</p> <p>As a grandparent, I was glad to see the sisters, ages 3 and 4, learning to fight back against their elder brother, who is 7, when he was rough with them. But he's still stronger, and there was still a lot of crying. Meanwhile, the 1-year-old boy is watching it all.<p>Updated: Thu Nov 16, 2017</p> a841e8e8695819f4c250dfd5ffec7418 Adventures With Social Media for 11/15/2017 https://www.creators.com/read/dear-annie/11/17/adventures-with-social-media Wed, 15 Nov 2017 00:00:00 -0800 <p></p><p>Dear Annie: In this day and age, it is very hard to ignore what people are doing in their private lives when it's plastered all over Facebook, Instagram and Twitter. Specifically, I am referring to photos of social gatherings that have me feeling left out.</p> <p>I have a grown child who is married. Recently, the married couple moved. When they moved in to their home, we were there to physically help them. The whole family helped in their move &#8212; all four parents, an uncle, a sibling and a nephew. We also gave them a very generous check for a housewarming gift so they could buy a few extra things for their new home.<p>Updated: Wed Nov 15, 2017</p> 76f9634571922431e97c95a3ebf317cf Ostracized Because of Parentage for 11/14/2017 https://www.creators.com/read/dear-annie/11/17/ostracized-because-of-parentage Tue, 14 Nov 2017 00:00:00 -0800 <p></p><p>Dear Annie: I need your advice. In my social life and at my places of employment, I used to tell people that the man who raised me with my mom was not my biological father. At work, customers and co-workers would say unkind things to me about that. Then, a few weeks later, I would get let go for no logical reason, or it would turn into a hostile work environment and I would be forced to quit. The final straw came when I was leaving church and the clergyperson shook my hand goodbye and at the same time pushed me out the door. I had a DNA test done, and it turns out that my dad is my biological father.</p> <p>I don't feel I owe people an explanation, and even if I did, they would probably not believe me anyway. How do I handle these horrible people? &#8212; Really Dad's Little Girl<p>Updated: Tue Nov 14, 2017</p> bfd2055d271af0942148cac9a709097f Making Eyes With Men for 11/13/2017 https://www.creators.com/read/dear-annie/11/17/making-eyes-with-men Mon, 13 Nov 2017 00:00:00 -0800 <p></p><p>Dear Annie: My husband of 45 years and I are at our wits' end. We have seen counselors and even tried hypnosis, to no avail. I have a very unusual problem: I am not able to stop looking at men sexually.</p> <p>I have had this problem all my life. A lot of the times, I don't remember even looking; my husband points it out to me. I wink and look at them below the belt to get them to hit on me, and I get turned on by this. I ignore my husband and tune him out. I'm in my own little world. I shut out everything and everyone else around me except my victim. It doesn't matter what the man looks like. Even when I'm not looking at them in a flirtatious manner, I tend to stare at men for longer than is appropriate.<p>Updated: Mon Nov 13, 2017</p> 507d90c7fd95b731c5404987a673b1c9 Activities Galore for 11/12/2017 https://www.creators.com/read/dear-annie/11/17/activities-galore Sun, 12 Nov 2017 00:00:00 -0800 <p></p><p>Dear Annie: I'm interested in so many things that I think I have become a jack-of-all-trades.</p> <p>Unlike the many people who pick up new things and drop them after they lose interest, I carry everything with me. Over the years, I've been so busy keeping all my hobbies that they have become jobs for me. But at the same time, I feel it would be a pity to drop any of them, as I've invested so much time, and I'm actually doing pretty well in all of them. What should I do? &#8212; Amy W.<p>Updated: Sun Nov 12, 2017</p> d0b2af664aaf079f88aae94e0794c5d8 When Does Milk Go Bad? for 11/11/2017 https://www.creators.com/read/dear-annie/11/17/when-does-milk-go-bad Sat, 11 Nov 2017 00:00:00 -0800 <p></p><p>Dear Annie: My husband and I disagree on when to discard milk. Lately, I find that our milk is spoiled by the "sell by" date on the bottle. He believes that date is only good as long as the bottle remains unopen. He tells me that once you open the bottle, the milk will spoil sooner than the date on the bottle, so it should be discarded no later than the "sell by" date. What can you tell us about this? &#8212; Tired of Tossing Milk in Connecticut</p> <p>Dear Tired of Tossing Milk: You and your husband are not alone in this debate. Food researchers at Cornell have conducted studies on the shelf life of milk. It turns out there are a lot of factors. Generally, an unopen carton of milk will stay good for seven to 10 days past the "sell by" date, as long as it's not exposed to sunlight.<p>Updated: Sat Nov 11, 2017</p> 9fe704a458dbe9fa5055ae0654ae1cac All but Biological for 11/10/2017 https://www.creators.com/read/dear-annie/11/17/all-but-biological Fri, 10 Nov 2017 00:00:00 -0800 <p></p><p>Dear Annie: I recently discovered that the man I called Dad all my life was not my biological father, after he passed away last year. "Jack" always treated me the same as his other children, with kindness and love. I will always think of him as my father and have no desire to know who my biological father is.</p> <p>He loved my children, and they were extremely lucky to have him in their lives. I am not sure whether I should tell them the truth, because he was such a wonderful part of their lives.<p>Updated: Fri Nov 10, 2017</p> 38cfa3386ce62801d0d276679cf7fe59 Look Who Dropped In for 11/09/2017 https://www.creators.com/read/dear-annie/11/17/look-who-dropped-in Thu, 09 Nov 2017 00:00:00 -0800 <p></p><p>Dear Annie: I occasionally have lunch with a relative whose company I enjoy. We usually have a nice time, but lately she has been bringing a last-minute guest with her without telling me. Sometimes it is another relative, and sometimes it is a person I've never met. This has caused seating confusion and a less desirable room at places where we have reservations. Does this mean she doesn't care for my company, or is it just a lack of manners? &#8212; Mystified in Michigan</p> <p>Dear Mystified: I can't divine this woman's reasons. Perhaps she's trying to save time by consolidating her lunch dates (which, I agree, would be bad manners). But <span class="column--highlighted-text">there's no need to consult a crystal ball. The next time you're making plans and wondering whether she'll invite anyone else, just ask.</span><p>Updated: Thu Nov 09, 2017</p> 6d9926550ee49165103ff7ecb005c513 Germy Friends for 11/08/2017 https://www.creators.com/read/dear-annie/11/17/germy-friends Wed, 08 Nov 2017 00:00:00 -0800 <p></p><p>Dear Annie: Two elderly friends I know who live far away made plans to spend about six days in my city. I invited them to stay at my house for three nights, and they made reservations to stay in a downtown hotel for the rest of their visit. I had not seen them for a number of years, and I thought it would be nice to spend time with them. I thought I would ease their travel burdens by having them stay with me, at least for part of their visit. Traveling when you are 80-plus can sometimes be hard on you.</p> <p>When I picked them up at the airport, both were sick with a cold. I became very concerned about my own health (and those around me), given that the previous winter, I had a severe cold that turned into pneumonia. It took more than three months for me to get better, even with antibiotics.<p>Updated: Wed Nov 08, 2017</p> ae9fe198dab6cb0bcaaa365db28618dc Getting Back on the Teaching Horse for 11/07/2017 https://www.creators.com/read/dear-annie/11/17/getting-back-on-the-teaching-horse Tue, 07 Nov 2017 00:00:00 -0800 <p></p><p>Dear Annie: I am in my 20s and working multiple jobs. A few years ago, I began substitute teaching at the elementary school in the town I grew up in. For about two years, I filled in for many teachers and even worked long term a few times, but I was never a permanent employee at the school. It was fun connecting with the kids, and I even ate lunch with one student regularly after being his aide for a few weeks. Additionally, I worked as a supervisor for the school's summer day care program.</p> <p>I aspired to work there full time but was not hired, despite interviewing multiple times. I decided I just needed a break from substitute teaching, so I did not go back until late in the year, and when I did, the classes I had were anything but fun. I tried to reconnect with the student I had lunch with, but his teacher would not permit me to do that again, despite thanking me for doing it previously.<p>Updated: Tue Nov 07, 2017</p> 10e7a7629624f9d0c857aa273e80ee3b For God and Country -- or Something for 11/06/2017 https://www.creators.com/read/dear-annie/11/17/for-god-and-country-or-something Mon, 06 Nov 2017 00:00:00 -0800 <p></p><p>Dear Annie: I have witnessed a change in a local American Legion post over the past several years. I support and commend anyone who has served our country. Originally, these posts were established by veterans and run by elected veteran officers and veteran executive board members. These posts were founded with bylaws and rules supporting the motto, "For God and Country."</p> <p>At my local post, the commander would make a better follower than he does a leader. He backstabs his officers to try to make himself look good. Officers are drunk at some meetings, which is very inappropriate, yet this is allowed by the commander, who should be observing and enforcing a code of conduct for the meetings. Minutes that prove that items were voted on are suddenly lost or misplaced. Married officers are having sexual affairs with the hired staff. There is stealing of items that belong to the post. Bartenders drink while on bar duty. Pay increases to certain staff members are given without the board's approval. Nonmembers come in and do what they want.<p>Updated: Mon Nov 06, 2017</p> 8168dff7f24d0e7bb3cc0801c77158cb Residence Wrangling for 11/05/2017 https://www.creators.com/read/dear-annie/11/17/residence-wrangling Sun, 05 Nov 2017 00:00:00 -0700 <p></p><p>Dear Annie: My husband and I have been married for 26 years. I'm 19 years younger than he is. We are civic-minded and devoted to family, hobbies and taking care of our mental and physical fitness. We renovated our second home together and lived there for 18 years, but we talked about moving from there for a decade, as there were some flaws with the design of that house.</p> <p>In recent months, we purchased a wonderful place with a comfortable setting and great neighbors. Our current place has the grounds and privacy we adore and a homeowners association to help with maintaining it. We are still getting settled, but I am delighted so far. I've entertained a few times at the new place, and my friends have raved about how inviting the house is.<p>Updated: Sun Nov 05, 2017</p> 28308c27d7dc04a38ff0ca711f115597 Husband Drops Bombshell After 60 Years for 11/04/2017 https://www.creators.com/read/dear-annie/11/17/husband-drops-bombshell-after-60-years Sat, 04 Nov 2017 00:00:00 -0700 <p></p><p>Dear Annie: If anyone could ever die of a broken heart, it would be me at 77. I have been a faithful, loyal wife for 60 years. My husband, whom I've always thought was wonderful, and I have always been godly people. We've gone to church and helped our neighbors often.</p> <p>He had chest pains earlier this year, and while in the hospital, he revealed that he'd been having sexual affairs our whole marriage. He said he'd cheated on me with 50 women. I went into shock and ended up in the hospital myself for a week. I am so devastated. I'm sick to my stomach. I am underweight, nervous and heartsick.<p>Updated: Sat Nov 04, 2017</p> d4245f9afce8ff1d1f118587c20e1a94 Wanting the Clothes-Free Life for 11/03/2017 https://www.creators.com/read/dear-annie/11/17/wanting-the-clothes-free-life Fri, 03 Nov 2017 00:00:00 -0700 <p></p><p>Dear Annie: I'm a man in my 30s who is a nudist at heart. Though I enjoy doing things clothes-free, my wife, "Jamie," does not. Jamie has gone with me to a nude beach &#8212; and "participated" &#8212; only once, and that was as a gift for my quitting smoking.</p> <p>Jamie reluctantly allows me to attend one nudist event a year, but I have found myself wanting to do more &#8212; doing online research about different nudist sites in my area.<p>Updated: Fri Nov 03, 2017</p> a2c64bbc0be3bbf5ce9b62a575aa3862 Younger Brother Is a Mess for 11/02/2017 https://www.creators.com/read/dear-annie/11/17/younger-brother-is-a-mess Thu, 02 Nov 2017 00:00:00 -0700 <p></p><p>Dear Annie: I've spent years watching my youngest brother tear my family apart, and now I need to make it stop. Coming into high school, he was bratty, angsty and entitled, but he was also the baby of the family and, let's face it, a teenage boy.</p> <p>Fast-forward to four years later, and he is never sweet, never thankful and never kind. My parents both work multiple jobs to keep our family afloat and are nothing but kind and understanding. All they want is their son back. But he is a nightmare, both in and out of the house. He won't keep a job. He won't do his schoolwork. He won't respect my parents. He takes money from my mom's wallet and has been caught with drugs and alcohol. None of their punishment has ever worked; he just refuses. I've struggled to keep my mouth shut over the years, because they're the parents, not me. They've even tried therapists and counselors, but that hasn't made a difference. Honestly, I don't think he is ill. I just think he is selfish.<p>Updated: Thu Nov 02, 2017</p> 7fb0fdc85e669fc0604247e0217bcf8a Help a Guy Out for 11/01/2017 https://www.creators.com/read/dear-annie/10/17/help-a-guy-out Wed, 01 Nov 2017 00:00:00 -0700 <p></p><p>Dear Annie: I am 57 years old. My wife and I have been married for 20 years, and we don't have kids. My wife always had nieces and nephews to occupy her time and now spends time with their children. I was self-employed and recently got a lucrative hourly position that takes a lot of my time, even more with forced overtime and travel back and forth.</p> <p>I have always been swamped with projects, both mandatory house maintenance and updating and forward-looking projects on my properties and a hobby car. Lately, I have been reflecting on my life and where I'm at. I cannot find a single instance of a project in which my wife did anything to benefit the house. I can understand not helping on my other properties, but the house where we both live? Yes, she takes care of the laundry, cooks dinner and mows the lawn, albeit with a push mower that takes her five times as long as the riding mower would.<p>Updated: Wed Nov 01, 2017</p>