Dear Annie: My husband and I went out with another couple for New Year's Eve, "Bob" and "Sheryl." Bob is a longtime friend and has been seeing Sheryl for the past year. Here's the issue: After the clock struck midnight and everyone was sharing well-wishes and kisses and hugs, Sheryl decided to put her tongue down my husband's throat and plant an extensive kiss on him, all while Bob and I were right there! Granted, there definitely was alcohol involved, but I don't lose my faculties and forget whom I came with when I drink.
I, in turn, stated that she had crossed the line, gathered our things and left. She attempted to say she was sorry upon our departure; however, I just couldn't stay the rest of the evening knowing she did this to our friendship. My husband had no idea what was happening and felt he didn't encourage this behavior. He had been seated by me the entire evening.
So now none of us has spoken about it and things are just awkward when we run into them in public. I'm so sad that our friendship with Bob can be no more, because he remains with Sheryl. How should we move past this transgression? Or is it just avoidance from here on out? — Betrayed in PA
Dear Betrayed: Wait it out and let this situation resolve itself. Be polite when you run into Bob and Sheryl, and don't go around bad-mouthing her. I have a hunch that if Sheryl is kissing married men in front of Bob, by next New Year's Eve she'll be out of the picture.
Dear Annie: I think you left out options for "Safe Driver," the woman who said texting should be OK when stopped at a light and whose husband thinks it is never OK to text while in the driver's seat. She asked you to give your opinion. I have to say that although sitting at a light in a running car doesn't take a lot of attention and your advice seemed to be written by a lawyer, I understood your picking the husband's side. What I don't understand is that apparently her husband is in the car when she does this. So aren't they in a partnership? Can't he look out for incoming disasters or for the light to change while she texts? And why can't he ever just text for her? It doesn't seem as if this needs to be a question of who's right. Rather, it's a question of how to help these folks get along and be safe. I do agree that pulling over is reasonable, but with these other alternatives, why bother? And if her husband isn't in the car, she is an adult and knows the legal risk she is running. — Bea in Maine
Dear Bea: Having Hubby do the texting on her behalf is a great, easy solution when he's in the car. When he's not, I still strongly advocate that "Safe Driver" not touch the phone. Yes, she is an adult and knows the legal risk she is running. But she's not just making a decision for herself. She's also making a decision that will affect the safety of everyone else on the road around her.
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