Dear Ann Landers: You said in a recent column that young people must learn decent language at home. I believe outsiders also can be a big help.

A few years ago, I went swimming with my 8-year-old granddaughter and her friends. Some teenagers nearby were there having a great time but using extremely vulgar language. I went over and said, very nicely, "Fellows, I'd appreciate it if you'd watch your language because there are a lot of little kids around here, and I don't think you're setting a good example." To my surprise, they cooled it, and I didn't hear another vulgar word. I thanked them.

Another time, I was watching teenagers play soccer. In this instance, it was grown men who were using the most foul language I've ever heard, while cheering their team on. I was offended and said, "You know, guys, this is supposed to be good, clean fun, and your language isn't appropriate. I'd appreciate it if you'd clean it up." Once again, I was pleasantly surprised when they did.

Setting standards isn't confined to parents. I am amazed at how many children fail to say "please" and "thank you." I tell them these are magic words and how delighted people are when they hear them. You'd be impressed how easily kids learn this basic courtesy.

When I was growing up, lots of people helped me learn in addition to my parents. My mother often told me how much she appreciated the help of neighbors and our church in raising us. I would like to pass it on. — It Works in Lansing, Mich.

Dear Mich.: It works not only in Lansing but everywhere. Thanks for striking a blow for civility. People need to be reminded that it does indeed take a village to raise a child. Hillary spelled it out beautifully in her book by the same name.

Dear Ann Landers: I hope you will print one more letter about cross-dressing. Nobody complains when women not only dress but act like men.

Women have succeeded in invading the male world to an alarming degree. It's not uncommon to see a female security guard in a male club, dressed like a man and using the men's bathroom. Female reporters walk into male locker rooms, and their noses get out of joint if they are not treated with Victorian respect. When a guy complains, they holler about "discrimination."

I visited San Juan, Puerto Rico, recently and was impressed to see that women dress like women and enjoy their femininity and men respect them. The only females in the United States who look and dress like women are prostitutes. No wonder they do such a great business and married men are their best customers. — Shrewsbury, Mo.

Dear Shrews: You asked me to print one more letter about cross-dressing, and yours was it. Although you sound like a male chauvinist oink oink, a great many others share your views and you deserve to be heard.

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ANN LANDERS (R)