Dear Margo: I have been in a three-year relationship and am struggling to let it go. Everything inside of me tells me he is the one I have waited for all of my life.

I am 30 and have never had a healthy relationship, so maybe I did it again. He's a few years older than I, so I assumed he was ready to settle down, but six months into the relationship he started to believe I was being unfaithful. I truly never was.

We worked that out (or so I thought) and ended up having a son together. Recently he left again, and I am lost. It has been almost four months, and I can't seem to shut down my feelings for this man. He put a wiretap on my phone to prove that I was cheating on him, accused me of sneaking out at night, etc.

I told him that maybe counseling was an idea, but he says psychiatrists are the ones who make people crazy. He says he has a recording of my infidelity, but that's impossible, since it never happened.

He is the one now out sleeping with assorted women and still accusing me. How do I convince this man how wrong he is? If that's not possible, how can I stop waiting for him to come home? — Truly Innocent

Dear Tru: For you to wish for his return is both neurotic and masochistic. Consider his departure a gift from the gods. Loath as I am to guess at medical diagnoses, the word "paranoid" does come to mind. Also "projecting," since he seems to be the one chasing around.

Regarding a wiretap, this is likely more made-up nonsense. As to your question about how to convince him he is wrong, it would be impossible, so give up on that one. I urge you to try and understand that you were shot full of luck to have him walk out of your life, and that you surely could not have "waited all of your life" for a suspicious and punishing man.

And, oh, nail down the child support, for which he is responsible. — Margo, fortuitously

EXPELLING A 3-YEAR-OLD FOR THE "H" WORD?

Dear Margo: My 3-year-old was going to Sunday school, up until recently. One Sunday, he told his teacher, "I hate you." I'm still not sure why, but he was upset about something.

The assistant teacher took him out of class and explained to me what had happened. I told my son that that was not a nice thing to say, and he sat for a time-out until he was ready to apologize to his teacher.

A few days later, I received a call from his teacher, and she stated that the superintendent of the Sunday school felt that my child shouldn't come back because he was a bad influence on the other children.

In my opinion, instead of hauling my child out of class, the teacher had a great opportunity to teach the 3- and 4-year-olds about the word "hate." He went through a phase where, when he got upset, he "hated" something. Luckily, it has since passed.

What are your thoughts on expelling a 3-year-old for this? He never hit, kicked or swore; he just used the word "hate." Also, am I making too much out of this by deciding to switch churches? — Mom With a Sad Little Boy

Dear Mom: I think removing a 3-year-old kid from a class for the toddler version of an insult is silly and ill-considered. I would venture a guess that the teacher is not terribly familiar with the psychology of little kids' behavior, and therefore overreacted. (Usually, it's the parents who get the "I hate you.")

As for switching churches, perhaps you could just get your son into a different Sunday school class. If the same thin-skinned teacher teaches all the classes, however, then maybe you will have to look around. — Margo, disapprovingly

Dear Margo is written by Margo Howard, Ann Landers' daughter. To learn more about Margo Howard or to read features by other writers, visit creators.com.