Dear Margo from Creators Syndicate https://www.creators.com/read/dear-margo Creators Syndicate is an international syndication company that represents cartoonists and columnists of the highest caliber. en Tue, 23 May 2017 16:51:01 -0700 https://www.creators.com/ http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss Dear Margo from Creators Syndicate https://cdn.creators.com/features/dear-margo-thumb.jpg https://www.creators.com/read/dear-margo 881b67fe058f4e2ec4e4041bc2407f72 Mom Purloins the Diary for 03/28/2014 https://www.creators.com/read/dear-margo/03/14/mom-purloins-the-diary Fri, 28 Mar 2014 00:00:00 -0700 <p>Dear Margo: I found out last week that our 17-year-old high school junior is having sex with her boyfriend! First of all, I found out the wrong way: I snooped in her room and read her diary.</p> <p>Second, she would never admit to it, so my husband insisted we just tell her what I found. Well, we did, and now she is furious with me and no longer trusts me &#8212; not that she has in quite a while.</p> <p>In hindsight I should have handled this whole thing differently, but I am not afforded the luxury of changing the past. My question to you is twofold. Besides the obvious, that I feel terrible knowing what I know, and that my daughter hates me, I am not sure if the route we are taking is the correct one.<p>Updated: Fri Mar 28, 2014</p> 908d78d7feb2a35d96456379a7ba33e9 The Bad Seed for 03/21/2014 https://www.creators.com/read/dear-margo/03/14/the-bad-seed Fri, 21 Mar 2014 00:00:00 -0700 <p>Dear Margo: I never thought I would write to an advice columnist, but here goes. I've been dating someone for about a year now, and we talk of marriage occasionally.</p> <p>He's ready for commitment and very gung-ho about us getting married, which is unusual and refreshing. He makes me happy, and we're a good fit.</p> <p>I didn't meet his 8-year-old son until a few months into the relationship. He had warned me that his son was a bad kid, but it still came as a shock. The child borders on demonic.<p>Updated: Fri Mar 21, 2014</p> af1247ba5f73dee6319db916ff7f010b Oh, and, Uh, By the Way... for 03/14/2014 https://www.creators.com/read/dear-margo/03/14/oh-and-uh-by-the-way Fri, 14 Mar 2014 00:00:00 -0700 <p>Dear Margo: I am soon to be 27 years old, and my only serious relationship ended a few years ago. In hopes of avoiding the standard meat market of dating, I'm considering registration with eHarmony.com.</p> <p>I've also had my share of casual relationships. Now that I've experienced some hard lessons, I've chosen to abstain from sex until marriage. My reasons are complex, but simply, I'd rather become serious about the next guy based on friendship and compatibility. Sex can come later &#8212; after marriage &#8212; and when it does, I can then feel secure and safe about it, as well as have fun.</p> <p>My question is, how do I let a new person know this? Do I post it under "miscellaneous facts" about me, or do I wait until the first or second date? My concern is clarity, timeliness and how to say this without coming off as prudish.<p>Updated: Fri Mar 14, 2014</p> 70314ca6c279ed0aa1d108f91c088ca5 It Is in the Bible, but Not in the Stars for 03/07/2014 https://www.creators.com/read/dear-margo/03/14/it-is-in-the-bible-but-not-in-the-stars Fri, 07 Mar 2014 00:00:00 -0800 <p>Dear Margo: I have been dating a wonderful man for four months now. He is very kind and sweet in every way. We are much in love and happy together. There is only one problem: We are different religions.</p> <p>I am a Christian; he is agnostic. I have invited him to church, and in four months, he has accepted twice. He is adamant about me not pushing my religion on him. My faith is very important to me and has made me who I am today.</p> <p>I want a man who will share my faith and stand beside me in my church. I know that down the road, our moral differences will ensure arguments. He has mentioned marriage a few times, which makes me so happy, and yet scared at the idea of being committed to a marriage that is "unequally yoked."<p>Updated: Fri Mar 07, 2014</p> dff62f70a9de0b7a6b5ef0776bb99943 Is Redemption Possible? for 02/28/2014 https://www.creators.com/read/dear-margo/02/14/is-redemption-possible Fri, 28 Feb 2014 00:00:00 -0800 <p>Dear Margo: My problem is my live-in fiance of two years had a five-month affair with a client. I threw him out, and he ended it. I have talked to the woman he was seeing and know that he did walk out on her (plus all the seedy details).</p> <p>He went into therapy on his own; we also went as a couple. He swears I am the woman of his dreams and understands now that he doesn't want to grow old without me. You know all the lines: He was confused, I was distant, she paid attention to him.</p> <p>I think at present he is being honest. I understand people make mistakes and do things they regret, but I can't seem to forgive him. Do you think people can truly get past such a betrayal and be happy again, or is the trust broken forever?<p>Updated: Fri Feb 28, 2014</p> 589d5d2fa9e8bb175b760e68f93fee94 One-Way Streets and Closets for 02/21/2014 https://www.creators.com/read/dear-margo/02/14/one-way-streets-and-closets Fri, 21 Feb 2014 00:00:00 -0800 <p>Dear Margo: I'm 17 and crazy in love with one of my best friends, but I know nothing will ever come of it because we are both girls and she is straight. She's always with her boyfriend, and she asks me about boys and tells me about her sexual activities.</p> <p>I can't stand this anymore. I've tried so many times to forget her, in vain. I don't think I can stop seeing her because I love her and care about her, and, also, I would have to explain to my other best friend why I don't want her to hang with us. SOS. &#8212; 3DG</p> <p>Dear 3: To be your age and crazy about someone who does not reciprocate your feelings makes this a crush.<p>Updated: Fri Feb 21, 2014</p> e33d95999d57ad9929ce0809332fcd7f The $40 Mistake for 02/14/2014 https://www.creators.com/read/dear-margo/02/14/the-40-mistake Fri, 14 Feb 2014 00:00:00 -0800 <p>Dear Margo: My niece had always loved dolls as a little girl. I adore my niece, and a few years ago, when she was 8 or 9, I gave her two handmade dolls for her birthday.</p> <p>I put a lot of time, energy, money and love into those dolls. A few weeks ago, her mother called to tell me they were having a garage sale, and that "Marilyn" had outgrown the dolls and they were going in the sale. My S-I-L (my niece's mother) thought I might want the dolls back.</p> <p>Although I was a little (OK, a lot) hurt that my niece didn't value the dolls enough to keep them, I was, nevertheless, grateful that I was given the opportunity to get them back instead of having them sold to strangers.<p>Updated: Fri Feb 14, 2014</p> b92f2775d3c08f5d2b9cb5d966a9e694 It's Definitely Not You, Buddy for 02/07/2014 https://www.creators.com/read/dear-margo/02/14/its-definitely-not-you-buddy Fri, 07 Feb 2014 00:00:00 -0800 <p>Dear Margo: Dear Margo: I have been with my fiancee for two years, and we have finally gotten to the point where we know each other well enough not to think the relationship is going to end if we argue or disagree. Basically, we are comfortable with each other and very much in love.</p> <p>The problem? It has to do with sex. There is none. (Certainly not compared to when we began dating.) She blames her weight and menopause (she is 49, I am 57) for her decreased libido. When we began dating, we enjoyed sex at least twice a day. It dropped to once a day, then once every other day ... you get the picture. Now she says she is not interested in sex at all.</p> <p>There are some extenuating circumstances: She is starting menopause, her daughter and grandson are living with us, and she has gone from size 6 to size 14. (I do not care, but she does.) I can understand the grandson and the daughter, but when we are alone, I am confused as to why her attitude or desire does not change.<p>Updated: Fri Feb 07, 2014</p> 26985dac2e537cd9deb67d96c962b4a1 Same Time Next Year for 01/31/2014 https://www.creators.com/read/dear-margo/01/14/same-time-next-year-af6b4 Fri, 31 Jan 2014 00:00:00 -0800 <p>Dear Margo: I never thought I'd be writing, but here goes. I was married to "Carla" for 10 years but have been divorced for four. We share custody of our four wonderful kids, and we get along pretty well compared to other divorced couples we know.</p> <p>Carla and I have the same birthday. When we were married, we used to throw extravagant parties to celebrate. Now that we're divorced, she sends me a card with a small gift (last year it was a fountain pen), and I send her a dozen red roses along with her age in white roses (her favorite).</p> <p>Here is my problem: My new girlfriend, "Alice," has a problem with our "tradition." She doesn't think it's appropriate for us to exchange gifts, shared birthday notwithstanding. I assured her that we weren't thinking about getting back together and that the divorce was mutual. I told her that Carla and I don't care for each other in that way anymore, but we will always be attached to each other due to the fact that we share a birthday and four children.<p>Updated: Fri Jan 31, 2014</p> 03cb1e02f903d77af80c8a6a53086e00 Waaaay Beyond Messy for 01/24/2014 https://www.creators.com/read/dear-margo/01/14/waaaay-beyond-messy Fri, 24 Jan 2014 00:00:00 -0800 <p>Dear Margo: I am so far into this mess, I can't see a way out. I am a successful businesswoman with a teenage son &#8212; and dirty little secrets. Our house and backyard are so messy that we have not had company over in years.</p> <p>I am not talking disorganized; I mean there are boxes, trash and dirt piled high. My queen-sized bed has so much stuff on it that I have to carefully crawl into it to keep from dislodging everything. The space between the bed and the wall is piled with stuff that I might need someday. Repeat this for each room.</p> <p>My backyard is filled with bushes, thorns and trash. It's hard to even see the pool. Things are so bad, I am ashamed to call anyone for help in my small city. I have lost friends over this, as I will not have anyone over. I try to clean, resolve to rent a Dumpster, get a storage unit, make some progress ... then I become overwhelmed.<p>Updated: Mon Jan 27, 2014</p> 471c7d5b7f58b21265dd1d4dec3991c4 An Odd Kind of Jealousy for 01/17/2014 https://www.creators.com/read/dear-margo/01/14/an-odd-kind-of-jealousy Fri, 17 Jan 2014 00:00:00 -0800 <p>Dear Margo: My dilemma is really simple. I happen to love a certain 19th-century authoress and have read every biography I can find about her.</p> <p>Ever since I was 14 years old and read her classic novel "Pride and Prejudice," I have been bewitched. She is a lady and a half, the gilder of my heart, the best woman I am sorry I never met.</p> <p>I was recently at a party with my wife and was asked why I like Jane Austen so much. (The question actually was why I am so "obsessed.") I responded to the question with vigor and as eloquently as a man "in love" can be allowed.<p>Updated: Mon Jan 27, 2014</p> 72917992eb44102af9a64cdcada695c3 He Wrote What in the Newspaper?! for 01/10/2014 https://www.creators.com/read/dear-margo/01/14/he-wrote-what-in-the-newspaper Fri, 10 Jan 2014 00:00:00 -0800 <p>Dear Margo: About a year ago, my husband started writing and publishing stories in a local newspaper. He never told me or showed me the stories. I heard about them from friends and then read them. The stories are about sexual behavior and fantasies involving other women. He uses the first person for the main character.</p> <p>I do not feel comfortable with this and haven't wanted to have sex with him since. I asked him why he had to publish these stories. He said they were made up and he wouldn't write them anymore. I trusted him, but recently found that he was doing it again.</p> <p>All of his stories are about sex. Is he sick? I really can't have sex with him when I think of the stories. He thinks I am overreacting. He still wants sex with me. Should I take him to see a therapist? &mdash; Troubled<p>Updated: Fri Jan 10, 2014</p> 4035fa5c4dba85292043f6a52a95cff1 When Suspicions Rule for 01/03/2014 https://www.creators.com/read/dear-margo/01/14/when-suspicions-rule Fri, 03 Jan 2014 00:00:00 -0800 <p>Dear Margo I am trying to find out whether my marriage is something I can stay in and still remain sane.</p> <p>My husband is six years younger than I am. He is by many accounts &quot;perfect&quot; in other people's eyes. He is loving, attentive and a strong Christian, and he helps with everything and anything around the house, makes me rest because I am pregnant, and does not even let me consider carrying groceries or anything else. He feels it is his job to take care of me.</p> <p>However ... he is by far the most jealous man I have ever known. He wants me to call him when I get to work &mdash; from my work phone, so caller-ID shows I am there &mdash; and again when I leave so that he can time my ride home. I cannot run to the store by myself, because he is afraid I'll stop off somewhere and &quot;meet up with someone.&quot;<p>Updated: Fri Jan 03, 2014</p> b8b733628ed6b5579fa4f65106211fbf You Say Tomato, He Says Tomahto for 12/27/2013 https://www.creators.com/read/dear-margo/12/13/you-say-tomato-he-says-tomahto Fri, 27 Dec 2013 00:00:00 -0800 <p>Dear Margo: How can two people be in the same relationship and have such different perceptions of it? My husband loves our marriage, believes that we are on a wonderful journey together and doesn't want a divorce. I, on the other hand, think the marriage stinks.</p> <p>Don't get me wrong, things are quite pleasant, but pleasant isn't good enough for me. I can get pleasant at the supermarket. I'm highly sexual; he is not. I long for an experience where my mate and I can dig deeper into ourselves, emotionally, and he wants to avoid the deeper emotional experiences at all costs.</p> <p>My perception is that he wants the relationship to be at the same physical and emotional level as it was when we met 16 years ago. I abhor that type of stagnant view and embrace the concepts of change and growth. When I try to get him to open up, his blood pressure goes up.<p>Updated: Fri Dec 27, 2013</p> 0ec3e118a9423fe80b02330bd91963be When the BF Is a Switch-Hitter for 12/20/2013 https://www.creators.com/read/dear-margo/12/13/when-the-bf-is-a-switch-hitter Fri, 20 Dec 2013 00:00:00 -0800 <p>Dear Margo: I've been living with a guy for nine months, and it's fair to say I am the nosy type. Past relationships have made me not trust anyone.</p> <p>My guy and I are very serious and discussing marriage. But every time he's gone, I snoop, and if you look, you shall find. Seven months into the relationship, I am looking at his online chat logs. I am reading a conversation between him and a female when he tells this person to start talking to him on his other IM account, one I never knew he had.</p> <p>Well, he has another account where it says he is a cross-dresser and bisexual. I am very confused at this point because this is the man I want to marry. I look through his logs and e-mails and find that he's been talking to other men and women about meeting with them to have sex. He also has an online friend (female) who knows all about his &quot;other life.&quot;<p>Updated: Fri Dec 20, 2013</p> 1099262d08ad760566784006371a19d1 When It's Never Enough for 12/13/2013 https://www.creators.com/read/dear-margo/12/13/when-its-never-enough Fri, 13 Dec 2013 00:00:00 -0800 <p>Dear Margo: Every few months, my mother finds herself in some kind of &quot;crisis.&quot; Because she is unmarried, she looks to her children for support. We all love our mother and want to help her as much as we can, but we have our own families now, and Mom can be quite demanding.</p> <p>She expects us to drop everything to come to her aid. If we are unable to put our obligations aside and run, we are branded &quot;ungrateful, selfish and unloving.&quot; If we are lucky, we only get a few weeks of the silent treatment.</p> <p>More often, it's a long guilt trip down memory lane. Mom, our tearful tour guide, points out how she suffered trying to raise us on her own and cites examples of her sacrifice. We all respect her and appreciate how hard she worked for us. We thank her frequently, but it's obvious that she feels we owe her big-time.<p>Updated: Fri Dec 13, 2013</p> e8ef87d07e1ea24f13178b882dc7093c When You Feel Like a Heifer at an Auction for 12/06/2013 https://www.creators.com/read/dear-margo/12/13/when-you-feel-like-a-heifer-at-an-auction Fri, 06 Dec 2013 00:00:00 -0800 <p>Dear Margo: I am 36 and attending college for the first time. It has been a wonderful experience, and because of my high GPA, I received many scholarships.</p> <p>One scholarship comes with an invitation to a fundraising dinner with all the local elite who contribute to the college. I was there last year to receive an award and hated it. The fundraising and the requests for money made me uncomfortable, and the people at my table were snobby and condescending.</p> <p>The foundation puts the winning students at tables with the donors so they can &quot;see what their money buys.&quot; There are games where the speaker searches the room with a spotlight asking for donations, and all the rich people at my table were waving their checkbooks and clamoring for one of the plaques being given away. I felt like a heifer at auction.<p>Updated: Fri Dec 06, 2013</p> a3f17963f2ebf6e38f0f28495d608f51 Me Tarzan, You Jane for 11/29/2013 https://www.creators.com/read/dear-margo/11/13/me-tarzan-you-jane Fri, 29 Nov 2013 00:00:00 -0800 <p>Dear Margo: I have a difficult problem I need an outsider's help with, as I wouldn't want friends or family to know. My husband is a very quiet man, and when I say quiet, I mean that he can go for days without having a conversation. </p> <p>It doesn't seem to bother him, but it certainly bothers me. I knew he was quiet when I married him, but I didn't expect to have no one to talk to. We discussed this before we got married, and he said that he would open up, but asked me not to push him. If I try to start a conversation, often I only get a shrug or a grunt in return. </p> <p>This is affecting everything in our marriage. Of course, our sex life is suffering because he doesn't talk to me all day and then just rolls over and wants sex. Hello? Forget foreplay. I don't feel loved or appreciated; it's like I am a piece of furniture that cooks, cleans and takes care of the kids. <p>Updated: Fri Nov 29, 2013</p> 3f5380bb675dc58c512ecc65878e3e14 You Are Cordially Invited To Stay at Home for 11/22/2013 https://www.creators.com/read/dear-margo/11/13/you-are-cordially-invited-to-stay-at-home Fri, 22 Nov 2013 00:00:00 -0800 <p>Dear Margo: I'm getting married in about six months and am working out the details. My question is: How do I not invite a relative? </p> <p>It's an uncle who's offended me, many of my relatives, my parents, my siblings, my grandparents and other aunts and uncles. We all deal with him in our own way, whether it's avoiding him at family functions or just skipping family functions where he will be. </p> <p>One of my brothers and another uncle fit into the latter group. Their presence at my wedding is much more important to me than the offensive uncle's. My question is: How do I not invite him, while at the same time inviting his wife and their children? <p>Updated: Mon Nov 25, 2013</p> e8e07f5627626939f5957c460d347d56 When a Hug Brings an Ugh for 11/15/2013 https://www.creators.com/read/dear-margo/11/13/when-a-hug-brings-an-ugh Fri, 15 Nov 2013 00:00:00 -0800 <p>I'm talking about our different ways of greeting. I mean we just bow when we greet one another. We don't hug and kiss as American and French people do. Although I myself was born in America, my parents were not, and I have grown up with their customs. I just feel like I'm being hug-raped whenever I have to put up with it. </p> <p>It wasn't much of a predicament because I've only had to endure this discomfort very occasionally, but the problem now is my boyfriend's family. Although they're Asian, too, they've been in America generations longer than my own family, so they hug whenever they see each other &mdash; and now me. </p> <p>To make matters worse, it's a big family, and when I'm invited to a gathering (which is often . . . they celebrate everything), I have to hug as many as 8-10 times in an hour. I feel uncomfortable and have a hard time keeping myself from grimacing. <p>Updated: Fri Nov 15, 2013</p>