Dear Margo: I, like many others who seem to write to you, never thought I'd be asking you for advice. Now I am curious about something I'm not sure how to approach.

A friend of mine has spent the past four years of her college career in and out of unhealthy, purely sexual relationships. It's not a matter of her being sexually liberated as much as her way to gain acceptance.

In high school she had few friends, and it seems as if she used college as a way to try to become popular. Unfortunately, this has come at the expense of her reputation.

She's soon to go to graduate school in a different area and will not have any of the friends she's made here. Her relationship with her parents is pretty unhealthy, and I know she could definitely benefit from therapy. The thing is, I don't know how to tell her that she needs professional help.

I'm not one of her closer friends, though it seems like she respects me more than some of her close friends. I'm just not sure how blunt I should be. Any suggestions? — Unsure in California

Dear Un: Your friend's pattern reminds me of Count Talleyrand's remark: "In order not to be called a flirt, she always yielded easily." This girl surely could benefit from therapy, but it is difficult to suggest to someone they get counseling for promiscuity.

It would be very difficult to say to someone, "Perhaps you should be sleeping with fewer people." The only way you could get away with this is if she were to say that she didn't like the way her life was going. Then you could suggest therapy.

Or, you might mention that going to a therapist has done a lot for your understanding of your own behavior. You are nice to want her to gain insight into her actions. — Margo, approvingly

WHEN YOU'RE DATING SCROOGE

Dear Margo: I'm dating a (mostly) wonderful man who has been a great blessing in my life, except for one thing: He's really cheap.

He and I share the same faith and many of the same values, and he is very intelligent, witty and kind, but when it comes to money, he won't spend a dime on me or anyone else.

He suddenly "caught a cold" the week of my Ph.D. graduation and didn't come to the open house or any other events — and, of course, there was no card or gift.

He's told me he doesn't believe in society telling him when he should give things to people, and so he refuses to give his mother Mother's Day presents, or gifts to anyone in his family, and he tells them not to give him things, either.

Our dates consist mostly of staying in — and not spending money, of course. My birthday is coming up (our first together), and tonight he told me he's not feeling so well again. I'm guessing I won't see him so he won't have to come up with a gift.

He's not poor; he has an advanced degree and a great job. So it isn't a matter of overextending himself. Am I being a material girl? I don't need big bling, but sheesh, how about the occasional bouquet of flowers? I'm wondering whether I should forget all the good things about him and dump him.

Is this as big of a deal as I'm making it? — Material Girl

Dear Mat: This tightwad is an interesting hybrid of hypochondriac and cheapskate. Unless you can live with a really stingy man who has developed a theory, no less, about how he's not going to respond to "society," I would look for someone whose emotional health is better in the generosity and thoughtfulness department.

It is one thing to be frugal, and quite another to be thoughtless and miserly. I hope he and the moths in his wallet have a lovely life. — Margo, extravagantly

Dear Margo is written by Margo Howard, Ann Landers' daughter. To learn more about Margo Howard or to read features by other writers, visit creators.com.