DR. WALLACE: My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost a year, and he is a great guy. He is super kind and has a great personality. Sometimes it's a little too great. When we are alone, he is the perfect guy, but when other females are around, he thinks he's the original Romeo. He has never met a girl he won't flirt with. It's so obvious that sometimes I'm embarrassed for him. He smiles at all the girls, and when he gets the opportunity to talk with them, he uses a "fake" voice. After the "flirting romance" ends, he returns to normal and is a great guy who I'm happy to be dating.
We have had many discussions about his roving eyes, but he never says: "Sorry. I won't do that again." He says he just can't help himself and is addicted to girls. So far, all he does is look and smile, but I'm concerned he might take further actions some day. I am considered rather attractive, and what is strange is that some of the girls he flirts with are not even the least bit attractive physically. Yes, most of these girls are wonderful people with nice personalities.
Why on earth would my guy flirt with every skirt he sees? When we're alone, he only has eyes for me and is very considerate. I'm so confused! What is his hang up? — Anonymous, Charlotte, North Carolina
ANONYMOUS: It so happens that your boyfriend likely has a self-image deficiency. When girls respond to his flirtation, he gets an ego boost. Sooner or later, he's going to grow up and act like the great guy you think he is. Because he doesn't take your concerns seriously enough to change his behavior, this tells me he it won't be for a while yet. The good news is he does not go further than conversations with this behavior. If everything about him is terrific and his (verbal-only) flirting is his one flaw, then his eventual maturity may be worth the wait.
YOU GOT THE TRUE FACTS
DR. WALLACE: My boyfriend is an addicted bodybuilder and spends at least three hours per evening lifting weights at our local gym. The only day he doesn't work out is on Sunday, and that's when we can spend quality time together. He has been "encouraging" me to join him lifting weights at the gym once or twice a week. I'd love to, but I've got a nice body shape, and I don't want to look like a muscle-bound girl!
I talked with the gym manager, and he said several women left weights just to tone their bodies and that women tend not to look like men do if they lift moderate weights for health, toning and fitness. He didn't explain it in much detail, however. Did the manager give me true facts or a "con job"? — Happy As I Am, Atlantic City, New Jersey
HAPPY: Women have 10 percent more fat in their total body weight than men do. Because of this, it is physiologically impossible for them to build the same muscle mass as men. Also, females do not produce the sex hormone testosterone. Only males do this, which promotes muscle growth. The gym manager did give you the true facts. I'd recommend you give it a try. You'll garner some health benefits and get to spend some time with your guy!
Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.
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