DR. WALLACE: I'm a 17-year-old girl in the middle of a dilemma! My tomboy days as a little girl running around our neighborhood have ended and I'm quickly growing up. For the first time in my life, I'm paying attention to my body and my appearance, both of which I'm happy with at this time.

However, I've noticed that I've gained some unwanted extra weight lately, and the holiday season is looming. So far, I'm only about five pounds more than I would like to weigh, but I fear if I keep gaining weight, I'll soon have a much bigger issue.

My mother is a fantastic cook, and she makes delicious meals and side dishes, but there's no doubt that they are really high in calories. When I was younger, I never needed to pay attention to what I ate; I was always skinny as a rail, and I had lots of energy.

Now I'm starting to realize that continuing to enjoy my mother's fantastic cooking presents me the dilemma of realizing ongoing weight gain.

What can I do about this? I love my mom's cooking and don't want to upset her, but if I have my usual multiple plates of her wonderful holiday food, there's no doubt I'll see extra pounds when I step on the scale on Jan. 1. — Facing a Dilemma, via email

FACING A DILEMMA: There are two quick suggestions I can give you, and they both revolve around discipline. If you truly want to control your weight, you must be disciplined enough to be proactive and set some goals for yourself in this regard.

Start by monitoring your food intake. Instead of loading up on two or three plates of holiday food, enjoy one full plate of great food but resist the temptation to continue eating more. This way you'll enjoy your mothers fantastic cooking but minimize the impact on your weight.

Second, set up a realistic but rigorous exercise program for yourself. Talk to as many people as you can to get suggestions in this regard. If you have any friends or family members who are personal trainers or nutritionists, speak with them about this topic.

A regular exercise program that is adhered to diligently is one of the best measures to counterbalance weight gain for people of all ages, especially those in your present age group.

IS THERE ANY DIFFERENCE?

DR. WALLACE: Please settle an argument my best friend and I have been having for the past several months. We not only spent our high school years together, but we also actually met each other back in the sixth grade and are now attending the same college.

Generally, we agree on many issues but there's a current debate we're having that we interestingly have polar opposite views on. She's considering moving in with her boyfriend when this school year ends this coming spring, but I told her I don't think that's a good idea. She feels that living together with her boyfriend before they get married will give each of them a chance to get to know each other better. On the other hand, I feel that they would be better off living apart before they get married, then living together under one roof only after their marriage.

Since I know you follow studies and statistics on a variety of topics, which one of our perspectives seems to be the right one? — Please Settle Our Stalemate, via email

PLEASE SETTLE OUR STALEMATE: You're correct about reading a lot of studies over the years for sure! When it comes to this topic of living together before marriage or not, the most recent data I've absorbed show that there is only a slight difference, but yet a difference does indeed exist.

Those couples that live together prior to marriage do end up getting divorced at about a 10% higher rate than those couples who waited to live together until after they were married. This data actually runs counter to your friend's argument and supports yours even though the statistics are relatively close.

The most common reason given in the studies for the variance was that those who waited to live together until they were married saw their decision as a deeper commitment and were more willing to work together to keep the marriage intact than those who lived together first and were not "all in" on the marriage commitment in the first place.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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