Every marriage has its up and downs, its good times and bad, its joys and sorrows. In that way, Demi and Cody's marriage is just like all the others.

They'd been married for three years, and Demi was six months pregnant with their first child when her mother was admitted to the hospital. She'd been there for two weeks, the doctors still trying to determine what was wrong, when Demi's father suddenly died.

Demi said: "I had to go to the hospital to tell my mother. Cody was with me, and when my mom needed a moment he quietly left the room. Three months later, he held my hand when our beautiful daughter was born. He held it again, eight weeks later, at my mother's funeral. We were barely 28 years old with a newborn at home, dealing with the most traumatic events either of us had ever dealt with."

The years passed. Cody's career took off with Demi's help, and hers floundered. She said: "I was jealous of his success. He's the kind of person that people are drawn to. I'm the kind of person about whom people say, 'She's great once you get to know her.'"

Demi went back to school and became a teacher, a profession she loves. They had a second child, a son. She suffered postpartum depression. Of this time, Demi says: "Cody wasn't very supportive. He was a jerk. I was resentful."

There was another problem: their sex life. Demi was in love with one of Cody's best friends, Matt. She said: "Matt is exactly like Cody — kind, thoughtful, caring, funny, intelligent. The only difference is Matt's an eight and Cody's a six."

At the time, Demi didn't know why her feelings for Matt were getting stronger and stronger. In hindsight, she realizes, "I was just unhappy and stressed and allowed myself to fantasize what life might have been like with someone else."

At the height of her unhappiness, she told Cody she wanted a divorce: "I had previously told him that if I ever were to ask for a divorce, he should consider it a done deal. Did I mention I was pregnant with our third child? He cried for the first time and begged for another chance. He was finally willing to do all the things I'd wanted for so long."

Just when things were looking up, their third child was born prematurely. Demi described: "Within 48 hours, she was on a ventilator and ambulanced to a neonatal intensive care unit hospital. I've never been more terrified in my life. The safest I felt was when my husband crawled into my hospital bed, where I was recovering from my third C-section, and held me tight. I thought back to something my mother said about Cody when she was on her deathbed. We were talking about all the things he'd been doing for our family. She said: 'I always knew he was a good man. I never knew he was a great man.'

"I think about that during our hard times. I cannot imagine my life without him. He's given me what I've always wanted most: three beautiful children. Yes, I find other men attractive. Would I like one night of something different? Sure. But do I want a different life? No way."

Have you been in "Tales"? Send your update, along with your relationship questions and problems to [email protected]. And check out my e-book, "Dear Cheryl: Advice from Tales from the Front."