It's been years since Kimberly first wrote in complaining about her "crazy mother-in-law" who wore a white lace dress with a train to her wedding.

She's back with a story about an ultimatum, and — surprise, surprise — it involves her mother-in-law.

Kimberly's sister-in-law was having a major birthday, and her mother-in-law, Helen, wanted the whole family to take a vacation together to celebrate.

Kimberly said: "She wasn't going to pay for any part of this vacation, and I told my husband repeatedly that we couldn't afford it. We had a toddler, I had just had a baby, and I was unexpectedly pregnant again. Plus, I had started a new job that paid 40 percent less than my old job. ... I did not want to drag three children under the age of 6 (two still in diapers and one on formula) on a vacation."

Despite all that, Kimberly's husband, Bob, was all in. Kimberly blames what happened next on hormones (though maybe "credits" is a better way to attribute it).

One morning, she'd just had it — had it with the idea of a family vacation, had it with playing second fiddle to Helen.

She explained: "I told Bob flat out that I did not want to go on the vacation and if he continued to pursue it with his mom, he could go live with her. He had a choice: me or her. I had spent enough years of my life taking a back seat to her.

"I told him that we knew exactly what this vacation was going to be like and that I was no longer going to tolerate him ignoring my feelings to please his mother. There was a lot more."

After a lot of crying on both sides, Bob said: "Obviously, I'm going to choose you. I love you, and if I've made you feel like you've taken a back seat to my mom, I'm sorry. I never meant to make you feel that way."

Kimberly says: "We've never been happier. Now, whenever his mom wants to come over or wants us to go along with one of her plans, we talk about it first and then compromise. Helen and I are currently on a three-year streak of getting along. There've been no major fights, but she still does things that irritate the heck out of me.

"I was complaining about her one day to a friend. I said how angry I was that she was so manipulative. My friend, who's known me forever and has spoken with Helen many times, said: 'She's not smart enough to be manipulative. She's just extraordinarily selfish.' After thinking about it, I realized my friend was right."

So, Kimberly's ultimatum turned out to be a very good thing. But she says, "Being seven months pregnant and giving that ultimatum scared the hell out of me."

Got a problem? Send it, along with your questions and rants to [email protected]. And check out my e-book, "Dear Cheryl: Advice from Tales from the Front."