Sometimes, when you're in a new relationship, and you want to know every little thing about your new partner and share every little thing about yourself, there's a tendency to exchange romantic histories. Big mistake.

ELLIOT: Advice to guys: Don't tell your new girlfriend what you've done with other women. Work your way around to doing what you like. If she doesn't like it, she'll let you know quickly enough, hopefully without hurting your ego. Let the two of you discover together all the wonderful things beyond the missionary position.

Advice to gals: Don't compare your new lover with others. I once had a friend with benefits — a mighty good friend with mighty good benefits — who told me about a man with whom she'd "left footprints on the ceiling" during every rendezvous. It only made me wonder whether I'd be able to match that level of performance.

My rule is, don't discuss specifics. I've been married twice, and between those marriages I dated several women. I'll mention all this to women I date so that going in they have a general idea of my sexual experience. And I assume the same about them.

Sheer numbers are probably meaningless. I read somewhere that, when men are surveyed about the number of women they've slept with they typically double the actual number; and that when women are surveyed they typically cut the number by half.

A note about confiding sexual history to friends: Again, don't be specific. Even if you just tell one person, there's no guarantee the whole town won't hear about it. I live in a small village where everybody knows everybody — and their partners, and their past partners.

I'm currently ecstatically involved with a very nice woman who surely has the good sense not to ask for particulars. But if she does, I have my answer ready: "There have been enough to know you're the right woman for me."

NATHAN: If men and women would practice abstinence, there'd be no problem with how much to tell or how much to keep a secret because there'd be nothing to tell! My fiance and I are saving ourselves for marriage. We have so much less to worry about than our sexually active friends. We don't worry about STDs or exes showing up or embarrassing pictures popping up on the internet.

TYLER: When a woman asks you about your past, the answer is so simple: Say, "You don't really want to know," and leave it at that. When you get right down to it, there's no amount of information that's correct. You should just accept that a bit of mystery is a good thing and go on from there. Besides, answers like "I lost count when I was 19" or "Well, less than a hundred — I think" won't go over very well. Neither will "I've been saving myself." But that's a different beast.

Have you ever drunk dialed?

Got a problem? Send it, along with your questions and rants to [email protected]. And check out my e-book, "Dear Cheryl: Advice from Tales from the Front."