We recently heard from Nancy, who said: "Being with younger guys feeds the ego. It's a high. I think the term cougar is apt, because — objectively — it's predatory."

Today we hear from Judy, another cougar with another point of view. "I don't consider myself a predatory animal looking for helpless prey," she says.

After 15 years of marriage, Judy's husband wanted a divorce. So she was back to dating, experimenting with dating sites and speed dating.

She describes: "The only men that interested me were younger, eight years or less which didn't bother me. I've always looked young. The younger men accepted me more easily than men my own age. I'm an assertive, professional woman who knows her own mind. Young men like that and don't feel I'm undermining or emasculating them."

On Judy's first round of speed dating, she met Chase. He was 31; she was 45.

She says: "We shared the same political views and had a good time discussing the current administration. I selected him as one of my picks but figured the 14-year age difference was too much. Imagine my surprise when he asked me out. I was intimidated by the age difference but, I told myself, 'It's just a date.'"

They had a great time and continued to see each other. There were problems because Chase was recovering from a brutal divorce that involved his 4-year-old daughter. "But I stuck with him because we were a good match," she says. "Our relationship grew stronger and stronger. The things my ex-husband disliked about me Chase loved. Do I think I could have had the same relationship with a man my own age? Not really.

"There were bad moments, like dropping his daughter at day care and having them think I was her grandmother. I wanted to crawl into a hole. Or Chase getting carded at bars and me obviously not. Or some old guy in a liquor store referring to a drink that was popular a long time ago and then saying, 'Your son probably never heard of it, but I'm sure you have.' That was early on in our relationship and I seriously thought of ending it. I was humiliated, but it never fazed Chase. We kept dating, but I had my moments of insecurity. He's very handsome and I felt like I was competing with women his age."

Chase proposed last year. Judy accepted, but up until the wedding in April, she still had her doubts. She says: "I kept thinking of me at 74 and him at 60 or him at 46 and me at 60. But I took the leap. We're now married and I'm stepmother of an eight-year-old girl.

"I still hate the term cougar. My husband used to be teased about being with me. I felt I was the butt of a joke, but he said the term cougar referred to my hotness. Not sure that I completely buy that, but he loves me and tells me he'll be faithful even when I hit that dreaded 74. I'm not completely convinced that in the long term it will work, but I'll stick with it as long as he does.

"So far this cougar has not devoured her prey."

Are you a cougar? Are you attracted to cougars? Send your tale, along with your questions and problems to [email protected]. And check out my e-books, "Dear Cheryl: Advice from Tales from the Front" and "I'll Call You. Not."