President Ronald Reagan famously said, "Trust, but verify." If only Blake has listened to him.

When Blake wrote in before, it was about a younger woman to whom he was attracted. She wouldn't date him because he told her he was "done having kids" and she was determined to marry and have kids by age 30.

Well, the younger woman wound up marrying her BFWB (best friend with benefits) and having a baby a year later, and Blake began dating Sandra, a woman he'd known for a few years.

Blake says: "She had kids, she was fun, we got along great. She was just out of a relationship and we have a 10 year age difference, so we decided to take it slowly with no long term expectations."

But nature has a funny way of turning expectations upside down.

Taking it slowly quickly went to taking it not so slowly, to getting serious, to becoming pregnant ("Ironic, right?" he says), to moving in together, to having the baby, to breaking up, to Sandra moving out, to reconciling.

Blake says: "We reconnected and worked together on our family. I sold my house and moved in with her. Our plan was to buy a home together and get married. Enter the wild card."

The wild card was a family friend who had just gotten divorced and "was devastated."

"He needed a place to hang out while he healed," Blake says. "So naturally we took him in." And that's when the trouble started. "The first warning signs were them staying up late partying a few times. I mentioned that I was concerned because mixing alcohol and hanging out late was a powder keg and if it continued it could lead to a problem. I was assured that nothing was going to happen. Sandra told me she would never do anything to risk her home life and our future together. I truly believed her and kept my suspicions in check.

"Then we bought our house together despite new revelations about several severe credit problems she'd been hiding from me for years. Then last summer things went rapidly downhill. I began to suspect things, but didn't become the jealous detective I should have until a few months later. In my heart, I truly believed she would never cheat, and I didn't want to prove that I was wrong.

"But things continued and I caught her in one last lie. I confronted her about everything. Her answer was that it was only feelings between them and nothing had ever happened. I didn't believe her based on what I knew about the lies that were covering more lies, and the alibis that turned out to be lies, also.

"Fast forward to today. I'm still angry and hurt, and don't know if I can ever trust anyone again. Would investigating or pursuing the warning signs earlier have helped? Maybe, maybe not. Two things I now believe are: 'Where there's smoke, there's fire' and 'trust your heart but also listen to your gut.'"

Or, as Ronald Reagan would say, "Trust, but verify."

What advice do you have for Blake? Send your tale, along with your questions, problems and rants to [email protected] check out my e-books, "Dear Cheryl: Advice from Tales from the Front" and "I'll Call You. Not."