Today's column proves one thing: There are many paths to the same destination. Sounds Zen-like, doesn't it?

Emma and Zack started out as friends and hook-up buddies. Mandy and Carter began as friends and co-workers. They all wound up in the same happy place.

Mandy and Carter became friends at college and shared an apartment during a summer session. Carter had a pretty blond girlfriend at the time.

When Mandy graduated, she took a teaching job. Carter was thinking about following his pretty blond thing to her home in Arizona, but at the last minute, a position opened at Mandy's prestigious school, and Carter jumped at it.

"He moved near me, and we began hanging out with the same people. One night, on the way home from a party, he and I looked at each other and I said something like, `We need to do something with this relationship.' We agreed to go on a date, and one week later we were engaged.

"People at work were shocked. When he announced that he was engaged, they were certain it was to one of the friends we hung around with, because there was never anything between the two of us that anyone could see.

"My mother was also shocked. When I told her I was engaged to Carter, she thought it was an April Fool's joke. She kept protesting, `But you two are just friends!'

"We've been married 12 years, and the friendship we built has become a solid foundation for our marriage."

Emma and Zack lived in the same apartment building and hung out together. "I was terribly attracted to him, but he didn't want to get involved with anyone who lived in the same building. If something went bad, the situation could get a little sticky.

"I respected his wishes. I figured I'd rather have his friendship than nothing. We shared many bottles of wine and stories."

Emma had begun dating someone rather seriously, but in her heart she knew he wasn't the right person for her. She wanted Zack. Still she dated him for two years. During that time, Zack didn't date anyone. Meanwhile, they continued to grow closer. "I would tell him things I never told anyone else. He became my best friend.

"Many nights we slept in the same bed without having sex. But every once in a while we did. It wasn't often and it felt natural."

OK, so now we have Emma and Zack, best friends and occasionally hook-up buddies. What next?

Emma gave Zack an ultimatum. Either they date for real or they keep it strictly friendship — friendship without benefits.

"He asked if he could sleep on it. I stayed with him that night, and when we woke up in the morning, he said `Let's try it.' We've been together ever since. We've had our ups and downs, but mostly ups. I truly believe I've found my soulmate.

"We've been married five years, five wonderful years. I had always been told that you have to be friends before you can be anything else. Now I believe it."

Has a friendship or a friends-with-benefits situation turned into love? Send your tales, along with your questions, problems and rants to [email protected]. And check out my new ebook, "Dear Cheryl: Advice from Tales from the Front." To find out more about Cheryl Lavin, and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit www.creators.com.