Dear Cheryl: I'm divorced. I would love to meet a man who just wants companionship, someone intellectually stimulating to talk to and go to movies with.

I'm not looking to judge anyone, nor am I looking for Prince Charming or anyone with millions. I just want someone clean between the ages of 35 and 65 who's reasonably pleasant to look at, confident and happy with himself, and would enjoy doing things with someone of the opposite sex.

I recently discussed this with a male friend. He said: "No man wants what you want. He wants something (meaning sex) in return."

Do men always want something in return? Can't a man just want an attractive woman's companionship? — Am I Naive, or What?

Dear AINOW?: I'm confused. It sounds like you're looking for a friend who happens to be a man. If that's the case, why do you care if he's "reasonably pleasant to look at"? Personally, I don't care if my friends look like Shrek as long as they're loyal and fun to be around. And why the age requirement? Having friends from different generations is invigorating.

I think what you're really looking for is something more than a friendship but less than a physical relationship. That could be tricky but not impossible.

Your friend is wrong: There are men who aren't interested in sex, at least not with you. Don't you know any gay men who enjoy movies and are "stimulating" talkers?

And then there are straight men who don't want sex. They'd be relieved to find a woman like you.

Readers, we recently heard from "Still Grieving," whose wife of 25 years died. He never left her side while she underwent two major cancer-related surgeries.

He's still devastated because in that same year, she told him she didn't love him anymore. He says: "She continually let me know just how useless I had always been to her. To this day, her remark and the last five years of her life have left me in a pit from which I will never escape."

I told "Still Grieving" that people say and do all kinds of things they don't mean when they're ill: "The only really important thing is that you make the most of the rest of your life. It's been six years since your wife died. You need to let the pain go. Focus on the first two decades, not the last five years."

"Still Grieving" is back...

Dear Cheryl: Please, tell me why it's a waste of time to question whether my wife was ever really in love with me. The first two decades of our marriage have become one huge question mark.

I really think I was nothing more than a paycheck and an insurance policy to her. I feel I was a good guy who was played for a fool.

By the way, we had three children. The youngest is 22 and still lives with me. She's been ill for years. Since then, pain is all that I've known. — Still Grieving

Dear Still Grieving: You can never know whether your wife was ever in love with you. You can believe she was, or you can believe she wasn't. It's your choice.

You have to question why you choose the answer that will contribute to your pain.

It sounds like you've been in a depression for many years. A therapist could help you deal with your sadness over your daughter's health and your anger at your wife.

Got a problem? Send it, along with your questions and rants to [email protected]. And check out my ebooks, "Dear Cheryl: Advice from Tales from the Front" and "I'll Call You. Not."