How Miserable Do You Have to Be Before It's OK to Leave?

By Cheryl Lavin

April 19, 2019 3 min read

We recently heard from Lost. He and his wife married because she was pregnant. It's now 14 years and two daughters later, and he's miserable.

Three years ago, he had an affair with Sandy, who was also married. When his wife found out, he ended the affair, telling Sandy he couldn't leave because of his daughters.

"Now," he says, "I'm so miserable I'm going nuts. I wish I would have chased Sandy down and told her I was crazy and didn't know what I was saying."

His plan is to wait three years, till his oldest child is 18, and then ask for a divorce.

Here are your thoughts ...

NINA: You owe it to your wife and your daughters to try therapy. Then, if you end up divorcing (Who knows? Your wife may get smart and leave you!), you can look your daughters in the eye and say truthfully, "I did everything I could."

YOLANDA: Your wife deserves better than you. So get out, pay the alimony and child support and let your wife get on with her life and find happiness, too.

MARK: This all goes back to the very beginning: "She was pregnant, and I did what I believed was the right thing by marrying her. I don't think I ever loved her the way she hoped."

How can anyone think that there could be a happy ending to this story? More times than not, getting married like this ends in heartache.

PAMELA: I can't imagine what this guy's wife is going through. He has no respect for his daughters. God forbid they have to experience unfaithful husbands. I'm just so saddened by the lack of remorse from this so-called man and by society's views on marriage nowadays. In my opinion, he's going to be with Sandy in hell.

I know I'm not perfect, but I'm married with children and a dog, and I only and always ask for honesty from my husband. We don't have the perfect marriage, but we're working on our communication to save it.

TRACEY: He really needs to think about his wife and children before he makes any decisions. He could lose them and Sandy, too. Then he'll be all by himself. I feel that's what he really deserves.

Have you gotten revenge? Send your tale, along with your questions, problems and rants to [email protected] And check out my e-books, "Dear Cheryl: Advice from Tales from the Front" and "I'll Call You. Not."

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