The world is divided into two kinds of people: those who cut off their exes like a gangrened limb and those who cherish them like extended family. Leader of the second kind is Angela, who first wrote in seven years ago:
Angela met her husband Kyle through the internet. They were both 41 at the time, and neither had been married. She says, "It was after my last bad boy encounter which resulted in him keeping my clothes and me taking out a restraining order. Kyle and I face-timed for three weeks before we met. Pictures can lie."
Kyle hadn't dated a lot before Angela. In fact, he'd had just had one real girlfriend. Angela, on the other hand, was a veritable dating dervish. She'd had relationships with many men and lived with one named Steve for eight years. "I'm friends or at least on friendly terms with all but two of my exes."
Steve has had a rough time of it. He lost his parents and has had a few unhappy love affairs and some mental health issues. "He's searching for the one to share his life with and Kyle and I would like nothing better."
However, Angela hasn't always been crazy about some of the women Steve has dated. Steve received a large settlement when his mother died and doesn't have to ever work again if he doesn't want to. Angela thinks some of the women he has dated are gold diggers. He also has a bad habit of getting too close too fast. And part of his problem has been the torch that he's been carrying for Angela.
"I know Steve still has feelings for me. Kyle knows this, too. Steve has told me that I was the one who got away. But there's a difference between having feelings for someone and acting on them. I've told Steve that he lost a lover but gained a sister.
"Kyle knows that I love him with all my heart. But he also knows that I have a kind of brotherly love for both Steve and some other exes. Kyle knows if anything happened to him, they would be there for me. I'm in a secure relationship with my Kyle and we have the most fun any couple can have. He has no reason to worry."
Now Angela is back with an update. She and Kyle are still doing great. But here's the best thing: Steve is married!
"When he told me he was getting engaged, I took him to my jeweler, helped him pick out the ring, and did all the little things that made the proposal just right," Angela says. "I told the maitre d' at the restaurant about the plan and brought roses for the waiter to bring out after Steve pulled out the rock.
"The next time I have four tickets to a Chicago Bears game, I'll take my hubby Kyle and Steve and his wife. We're all friends and we all hang out."
Are you friends with your exes? Send your tale, along with your questions, problems and rants to [email protected] And check out my books, "Dear Cheryl: Advice from Tales from the Front" and "I'll Call You. Not."