Dear Cheryl: I'm a married mom of two. My husband was my high school sweetheart. He's a good provider and father. We've been married for 17 years. I feel he's being unfaithful to me with his uncle's stepdaughter, who's a real tramp. He claims they're just friends.

He's called her from his cellphone, and his buddy told me they're having an affair. He's been seen with her on several occasions. Once I caught him lying about it.

He tells me he would never leave me or get involved with someone like her, but I know he's lying. He gets mean when I question him. Then he apologizes and says he's going through something and I shouldn't worry because he loves me very much. But if that's true, why won't he discontinue it out of respect for me and our family?

Meanwhile, I've developed feelings for someone else. It's not serious. It's only because I'm hurting and I want my husband back. I want to do what's right, but it takes two to make a marriage work. — Two's Company; Three's a Crowd; and Four's a Total Disaster

Dear TCTACAFATD: Tell your husband that he needs to end his contact with his uncle's stepdaughter now. That means no more calls, no more meetings, no more friendship. If he says no, tell him that she obviously means more to him than you and his family. And if that's the case, then you're going to see a divorce attorney to make sure that you and your children are protected no matter what happens.

Hopefully, that will wake him up. But if it doesn't, then you have to decide if you're willing to be the second most important woman in your husband's life.

Whatever you do, don't muddy the waters by getting involved with someone else. That's just a temporary diversion that will keep you from dealing with the issues in front of you.

Dear Cheryl: At the age of 52, I've fallen in love again. I've known my girlfriend since seventh grade, but we got reacquainted at our school reunion two years ago. We've both been divorced twice, and we have our own homes.

Like all new couples, we talked about our past sexcapades. That unfortunately brought out her neuroses. She told me she doesn't trust me now. We've gone to couples' counseling to work this out, and we've also seen counselors separately.

This isn't our only problem. Last year, she broke up with me because she found a picture on my computer she thought was another woman. It was her! She made up with me three days later and apologized. Those were the saddest days of my life.

I've been completely faithful to her, and I'm very much in love with her, so you can imagine how it hurts that she doesn't trust me. I've thought about leaving her to find someone new, but I want to tough this out. — I Don't Want to Lose Her Again

Dear IDWTLHA: Your girlfriend has some major trust issues — no kidding — and if two therapists can't help her, she may not want to be helped. And if she doesn't, it really doesn't matter how much you love her.

If you continue seeing her, you're letting yourself in for a whole lot of jealousy, suspicion, accusations and mistrust. Do you really want to deal with all that drama?

Got a problem? Send it, along with your questions and rants to [email protected]. And check out my e-book, "Dear Cheryl: Advice from Tales from the Front."