"Frustrated" recently wrote in to complain that, as new parents, he and his wife didn't have the time or the energy for sex. He wondered how other couples managed.

ALLIE: We have a sex night, when sex is the priority and we let other things slide. On other nights, healthy meals may be a priority; on sex nights, hot dogs will do. No one's house is going to get condemned if they forgo tidying up a few nights a week. And unless you're dipping them in butter and rolling them in dirt, kids can go a few days between baths.

JESSA: My husband and I give each other a "heads up" early in the evening if we're interested in sex. That way the other person doesn't get involved in a task or TV and end up too tired at the end of the night. Our sex life has never been better, and no one's complaining about the messy house.

ALEXA We used to have a lot of problems finding time for sex because I, the at-home parent, figured that once the kids were asleep and the tidying up was done, it was finally my time. I'd read, catch up on email or chat with a girlfriend. On top of it, I'm a night owl, so I'd be up two or three hours later than my husband.

I discovered, after much frustration on my husband's part, "Are you coming to bed soon?" was his code way of saying, "Let's have sex tonight." But I didn't understand his code and I wasn't ready to go to bed, so my answer was always no.

Once I got clued in, we came up with a solution. As soon as the kids are asleep, that's our time. The dishes, laundry, email, TV, whatever — that can wait. Once we hear that sweet sound of steady breathing from both children, we meet in our room for our time, and afterward I go back downstairs for my time.

EMILY: Instead of watching TV at the end of the day, my husband and I spend it with each other. I'd rather have sex than watch a half-hour of bad TV any day. My husband works 60-plus hours a week. I work full-time and am the primary caregiver for our 25-year-old daughter, who is currently undergoing cancer treatment. We have a 12-year-old son and three grandchildren whom we adore.

While they're very, very important to us, emotional and physical satisfaction of each other is No. 1. If we can find time to have a healthy, enjoyable sex life (and I'd say three to four times a week at our age is healthy and enjoyable), anybody can.

MASON: When our three boys were little, my wife and I spent any extra cash we had on going out every Friday night. We met for dinner, and I had a sitter take care of the kids and do laundry. Either Friday night or Saturday mornings or both, we had sex. We woke up to happy kids with clean clothes.

How do you manage kids and sex? Send your thoughts along with your questions and problems to [email protected]. And check out my new ebook, "Dear Cheryl: Advice from Tales from the Front."

Photo credit: Jacob Munk-Stander