DEAR SUSAN: You asked how readers feel about being single; I do not see marriage as a solution to emotional or self-esteem problems. Marriage today makes little sense.

Half of marriages will dissolve sooner or later — and many stay intact when they shouldn't. It's very hard (impossible for most) to stay satisfactorily married to the same person for 40 to 50 years of one's life. Even 10 years is difficult for many.

What's the point? I look at newlyweds and can feel only sorrow for the pain that's in store for most of them. — Jeff H., Long Island, New York

DEAR JEFF: You had me along on your ride for a while, until your downbeat view came across as too downbeat for my taste. Agreed, marriage (or singleness) can't remedy existing personal problems. Agreed, many people sail into matrimony on wings of dreamy visions that cannot possibly survive the first cold wind of reality. (Witness a divorce rate soaring over 50%.) Agreed, many people don't know the first thing about marriage, are not at all equipped to work things out with their partner and turn and flee before their relationship has a chance to survive. We're talking instant-solution mindset here. But — and this is a major rebuttal — everything I've seen, known and lived through convinces me (more than ever) that harmonious marriage, true kinship of spirits, is the very best way to take the journey. That's my view of this institution we call marriage — a seasoned opinion to be sure, but only one voice in the wilderness. Feel free to add yours.

DEAR SUSAN: I've been in a wheelchair for seven years and for all that time I've tried to find somebody to love me back. The women I meet seem to be afraid of me, so I'm ignored. What I'm trying to say is that I need somebody. I'm tired of this single life. — Kurt D., Indianapolis, Indiana

DEAR KURT: Finding a soulmate is tough enough under ideal conditions (are there any?) but being in a wheelchair adds to the challenge. Women are intimidated when they need to bend to look into a man's eyes (even if they are tender and loving, as yours must be). What you need is an intermediary, someone to bridge the few inches that are so significant when woman meets man. Having a friend (preferably female and easy on the eyes) standing nearby would diffuse any fear women might have stopping to talk, and at the same time testify to your desirability. (You may be in a wheelchair, but that doesn't reduce your manly aura.) There's nothing like another woman to rev up that female competitiveness! My sense is that once you've bridged the space between you and womankind, once the woman is on your level, you'll handle the rest — and handle it well.

Let me know how this game plan works out. And for specifics, write in for the Resources for Disabled Singles I've compiled. There is no charge for it.

DEAR SUSAN: I'm living with a guy, and we get along very well except for our sex life.

He's a workaholic and when he's into a project he won't quit until he's exhausted. The other night at a concert I said something about having sex when we got home, to which he replied that sex is all I ever think about.

We've both been married before. I had a horrible sex life in that marriage, but I've discovered how wonderful things can be. He seems to like sex, but he says that my mentioning it puts pressure on him. — Desperate, Arlington Heights, Illinois

DEAR DESPERATE: The biggest male turn-off is making sex a topic of conversation. Unless you're in the office of a sex therapist (which may well happen here), there's no reason to put into words what is best demonstrated in the bedroom with subtlety and tenderness. Few (very few) men like the direct approach to their sex life... unless it's in the arena of phone sex, and that doesn't apply in this situation. But there is something going on between the two of you, a power struggle cloaked in eroticism, and it doesn't bode well. Your man works till he drops — and is in no condition to satisfy your libido. (Could he be avoiding your demands?) You simmer on low flame. You mention your need to have sex and he feels pressured and resentful. He simmers on low flame. It seems clear that sex has become the battleground for angry feelings that need to be aired and resolved. Both of you need to come together and talk about what's going on. Start today.

Have a question for Susan? You can reach her directly at [email protected]. We've uncovered another treasure trove of "Single File" paperbacks — in perfect condition, signed by Susan, ready to enjoy. Send $15 and your address: Susan Deitz, C/O Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254.

Photo credit: Keith Tanner at Unsplash