DEAR READERS: For those of you leery about being alone at mealtime, take heart.

This New York reader climbed the Mount Everest of challenges and lived to tell the tale.

"I'm divorced two years. I moved to a trendy town in north Jersey that has many restaurants and bars. I don't really drink, so I don't do the bar scene alone or with a date. But it never occurred to me to feel self-conscious when dining alone; I've been doing it most of my adult life, since I was 19 and working in downtown New York.

(During that period, I often ate lunch by myself at the better restaurants. Sometimes I did notice that I was offered a poor seat, but I'd decline and be given a better one.)

"On the Valentine's Day after my divorce, I treated myself to a 'victory dinner' because I was proud of myself for breaking the ties of an abusive husband. I tucked into a small, crowded Indian kitchen and had a great time celebrating; I must say that was my most fun mealtime experience. I also went on a business trip to New Orleans knowing no one there, but I enjoyed myself. I suppose I entertain myself. Somehow, I thought everyone did. (Come to think of it, I even traveled to Russia on my own. I joined a tour group once I arrived, but had my own hotel room and ate alone a lot.)

"I'm currently dating someone, and I enjoy having someone with me for meals; conversation does make it more fun. But my boyfriend isn't very adventuresome when it comes to dining, so I go to the more exotic restaurants by myself.

"Funny, but I don't ever remember getting the 'fish eye' from the maitre'd. I've made a habit of avoiding crowded, small restaurants in the prime hours. I know waiters prefer serving at least two people, so I don't take up a table on a busy night.

I go a little later or I'll sit at the bar or the counter until the peak serving hours pass. It's more fun sitting at the counter; more conversations start there. (I once met a delightful man at a counter, eating breakfast in a diner and we went on a really fun date that evening.

Then I didn't hear from him for a while, and about a month later we passed each other in our boats on the water. He waved at me. then sheepishly admitted (I didn't even ask!) he had been temporarily separated and was now back with his wife. I can honestly say I was delighted for him. I had a great time on our date; it was a fun adventure and I have a happy memory.)

"Dining alone rocks!"

A big fan,

Aimee G., Long Island, New York

DEAR SUSAN: You asked our thoughts about dating. Well, I believe there has to be a certain chemistry felt between the parties. And the whole point of dating is to go out with many different types to find which is "best." — Jim T., Indianapolis, Indiana

DEAR JIM: Dating is pure risk — a stab in the dark to find compatibility and love. As a way of life, it becomes tedious, frustrating and a total waste of precious time.

Making it an adventure tames expectations and can even bring humor into a ritual so absurd as to be laughable. Ask anyone over the age of 16 about their dating life, and the first reaction will probably be a snicker (if not an outright guffaw) that curls the upper lip and shows just enough white teeth to turn into a sneer. During a dating phase, it's crucial to dilute those evenings with visits to the people you love, because going out with total strangers makes it a game of hurt and be hurt and reminders of your value will be most welcome. (It's no coincidence that singles are drawn to married people; those already spoken for are known to be highly courteous, respectful, tender and loving... not exactly words to describe the dating scene.) It's brutal out there in the "meeting" game; best be well-armored. There are some who think beyond their own needs and feel compassion for the throughput of people who are seeking love. They are not the usual or the mainstream of the dating population. But I'm here to remind you that the other fellow's feelings matter as much as yours; do unto him as you would want done unto you. Let's put the golden rule into the community projected to be the majority within seven years: yours.

Some say the golden rule is that the fellow with the gold rules. (Worth a chuckle, a small one.) You'll be a better person with a better life living the traditional version of the rule. Amen.

Have a question for Susan? You can reach her directly at [email protected]. We've uncovered another treasure trove of "Single File" paperbacks — in perfect condition, signed by Susan, ready to enjoy. Send $15 and your address: Susan Deitz, C/O Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254.

Photo credit: kayleigh harrington at Unsplash