Shocked by the idea? Wondering why someone like me, someone so closely associated with single life and its core issues — dating and relationships — would come out with such a radical suggestion? Well, relax. Susan Deitz hasn't flipped. What I'm suggesting here is only a pause, a brief rest from dating madness — you know, the fixation on finding someone for Saturday night. There's that hunger in all of us, that yen to be seen as part of a couple on that holiest of holy nights, to be able to truthfully say to friends (and oneself) that "yes, I went out on Saturday night." As to the quality of that event, well, better left unsaid. But you recall your cheek muscles beginning to twitch from all the phony smiling and making nice, pretending to be interested. So much of dating is a waste of time. (Sigh.)

And your time could be spent in much better ways! There's the kitchen stove that needs cleaning, the chair that could stand a fresh cover. You haven't phoned your folks in a while, but how could you explain being home on Holy Night? And you'd really love to have your godchild spend the night so the two of you could rekindle the mutual affection in a blowout pillow fight and renew the bond between you, which seems to have loosened a bit because you've spent so much time filling your datebook. Even your work is showing signs of neglect. An extra hour or two would not be unappreciated. Lately, you've been spending too much time shopping for just the right sweater, having your hair and nails done in the latest color and all that nonsense. And for what? Sitting in a dimly lit club opposite some (im)perfect stranger seems a monumental mistake.

Take it from me, it is just that. And I'll prove it to you if you take my dare. (You may need a deep breath before we continue.) Yes, you do need a social life. I agree. And yes, you never know whether someone is for you until you get to know him or her. But dating is a stab in the dark, right? Remember, friend, this is not a plea to shut off the social spigot and retire to a log cabin in the woods. You know me (or should by now). Hermitude isn't my cup of tea — and I'm pretty sure it isn't yours. The message here is suggesting a breather from formal dating to risk a night or two of boredom. My hunch is you won't be sitting very long on the sofa twiddling your thumbs. But while you are, let your mind run to the other things you could be doing with your time. The point is, leaving the dating game may be the most liberating decision you've ever made. And though I can't chart your after-dating activities, I can make a few suggestions. (You knew I would.)

For openers, there's that vacation coming soon. Any plans? Or do you keep hoping you'll meet someone and they'll all have to be changed? (Life on hold is a common ailment in the unmarried community.) And then a family reunion is coming up, but of course you can't host it; you're not part of a couple. Singles aren't really in the bosom of the family; they are different and can't function the same as married folk. Besides, what with work and dating, who has time for family events? Not you. You've got a datebook to fill. In single life, that's numero uno, isn't it?

A resounding NO. If you agree that opening your front door wearing a pasted-on smile for someone with an equally forced and phony smile is the height of silliness, you're my kind of person. And take it from me, you're not alone. In fact, there's an unofficial club of unmarried men and women who are dating dropouts and glad of it. Giving up dating — temporarily, not for all time — is a net gain. Think back to the amount of time, money and thought you've expended just to be acceptable, desirable and well-groomed for someone you don't know and probably won't want to know after the first meeting. Then multiply that by the number of dates in one month of your life and you've got some idea of what a non-dating spell will mean to you. And who knows? Your thinking may be altered in new and exciting ways — confidence boosted, self-image improved. You may change the way you look at spare time and have less patience for clutter people and activities. (Hey, I can dream, can't I?)

There's reverse logic to all this. Just as learning to be content in your own company is real preparation for love partnership, the inner strength to be part of the dating game on your own terms — a choice rather than a need — actually increases the odds of finding the person and relationship right for you. Dating will have meaning and purpose in your life. More I could not wish you.

Have a question for Susan? You can reach her directly at [email protected].

Photo credit: Tom Stokes (@TA_Stokes)