DEAR SUSAN: A recent tip of yours really resonated with me. You said, "The best way to meet quality men and women is to follow your own star, do what it is that makes life worth living." I'm currently dating a special person, whom I met as a direct result of making a bold career decision. As a librarian, I was discouraged working in medical libraries, because I really love art and museums. So I quit a lucrative job to work with art books, a job with a lower salary and no benefits at all. But there I developed a relationship with the supervisor, and even after I had moved on (to a full-time job with good benefits), we kept in touch. A few months later, she arranged for me to meet a woman she was working with who she felt would be perfect for me. We did meet, and we clicked immediately. I feel a connection with her that runs deep and true. But had I not decided to go with my heart and take a job working with material I love, we never would have met. Susan, I fully agree with your advice to "follow your own star," because it sets in motion a network where you meet people with the same goals, dreams and loves. You certainly raise your odds of meeting the person you're looking for. — From the "Single File" blog

DEAR BLOGGER: The signals coming from your viscera are to be considered at all times and (when possible) heeded. Tucked into your DNA, their sole concern in your lifetime is your welfare. The wise person (you, dear reader) welcomes their voice and gives it considerable weight. Your viscera are your best and purest alert signals, pro and con. They never mislead, dupe or misrepresent; their only payoff is your contentment. They illumine the best road for you when you're mulling over your next move.

Why am I so certain about their role, you ask? Well, in my life, a major decision was looming — and I was not at all certain which choice was correct — meaning, in my life, which man was likelier to bring happiness and security to my small family. After much soul-searching, I realized that the proof lay in two major indicators: my toes and my natural rhythms. (That sounds weird now, I admit, but life can be pretty weird at times, and this was definitely one of those times.) Realizing that, I closely examined my toes; always curled up in a tense state, they were now straightening for the first time because of the warmth one man represented. For the first time ever, my bodily rhythms began to take on a regularity because of the calm he brought to my life. Now, this man wasn't handsome or suave, but over time, he proved my viscera correct. Enough said.

DEAR SUSAN: Whether or not reader Penelope and her intended live under the same roof, they really need to live in the same culture before they tie the knot. (His West Coast environment is far different from her Indiana setting.) Hurray for him if he's realizing he wants to know her through the ups and downs of daily life, her friends and her values before they wed. As a divorce lawyer, I've seen lots of starry-eyed romantics after the relationship soured. If all Penelope and her boyfriend have done is to vacation together and talk a few times on the phone, especially while he was in school, they probably don't know enough about each other to make such a commitment. There are things they can know about each other — even without moving in together — that would help increase the odds of a successful marriage. I suggest she relocate to the city where he'll be working, get herself settled and then find out whether he's truly her dream come true. — From the "Single File" blog

DEAR BLOGGER: Well, Penelope, there you have it. Straight from the pen of someone who probably knows a thing or two about failed marriages. I can just imagine the anguish he's witnessed in the courtroom, where two adults who shared limitless dreams for the future now are combatants. Worse, their children are witnesses to the breakup of a family that once held such great promise for the future, for their children and all to see. Worst of all, the battle has witnesses, small minds with huge imaginations forced to be in the company of battling adults behaving like savages, not exactly good models for the next generation. Where once they shared dreams of endless love and a bright future for their progeny, the family has splintered irreparably, the children unwitting victims of the schism. Starry-eyed romantics, clip this and put it away where it can be read as needed. (Ahem.)

Have a question for Susan? You can reach her directly at [email protected]. We've uncovered another treasure trove of "Single File" paperbacks — in perfect condition, signed by Susan, ready to enjoy. Send $15 and your address: Susan Deitz, C/O Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254.

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