DEAR SUSAN: Recently, I reconnected with a man I knew four years ago during college days. We spent a whole day in wine country, and it became clear that money is a major issue for him. He griped the whole day about spending money to taste wine and made a fuss about having dinner at the end of the day, sore at having to treat me. Keep in mind that he asked me out!
He came to see me a few days before New Year's and asked me out for dinner, theater, etc. But as soon as I accepted, he said we'd go Dutch — whereupon I declined. Soon thereafter, he sent me an email saying that now he knows I'm all about money.
I may be old-fashioned, but I believe that when a man asks a woman out, there are certain expectations.
He was very insulted when I declined but said he'd take the high road and forgive me. Then he accused me of "running hot and cold."
I say it's time for me to be gracious and thank him for his interest but say that our expectations are clearly different. What do you think? — Jenny, a longtime fan of "Single File"
DEAR JENNY: I certainly agree it's time to be moving on, free of this pathetic fellow. He's too far gone to rehabilitate, and spending any more time with him would be self-inflicted torture. He's to be pitied — but from afar, perhaps outer space. Can you imagine being married to him and facing a daily trial about household expenses or the cost of dishwasher powder?! No, dear fan, save your genteel ways for someone with real values and a clear head. All he merits is a short, polite farewell. Save your voice for a friend more generous in spirit.
"SINGLE FILE" TIP: Now, while you're uncoupled and (relatively) free to live your way, my friend, it's time to start thinking outside the box. Wouldn't you just adore marking the following as "done"?
—Own a black (very sheer) nightgown from Victoria's Secret.
—Swim in the Mediterranean Sea.
—Lose 20 pounds.
—Own the complete collection of Beatles records.
—Have a long, unhurried talk — about life and love — with your best friend.
—Walk through gobs of freshly fallen snow and listen to the crunch.
—Go skinny-dipping with someone you adore.
—Take time off from work just to be by yourself and read.
—See Paris from the top of the Eiffel Tower, hugging your beloved.
—Take a child to Disneyland.
—Have a professional massage.
—Bake bread.
—Have your poem/article published.
—Speak wonderfully well at a business meeting — and be told you did.
DEAR READERS: We've uncovered a treasure-trove of "Single File" paperbacks — in perfect condition, ready to read. Send $15 and your address to: Susan Deitz, C/O Creators Syndicate, 737 Third St., Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. I'll send you a signed copy.
Have a question for Susan? You can reach her directly at [email protected].
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