DEAR SUSAN: I do agree with your advice. Really, even on matters other than love and relationships, it's so much better to live life appreciating what you have rather than continually focusing on what you don't have, envying everyone for having what you want. It's fine to have goals, but you should keep re-evaluating them as you live — and keep trying new things. If you don't like the result, stop doing it. Remember that change doesn't guarantee good results but not changing can only bring more of the same old stuff. — From the "Single File" blog

DEAR BLOGGER: Life is a case of logic, unlimited. When adventure presents itself, new and untried, it's make-or-break time. Agreed, it takes a sense of adventure, a willingness to taste the untried, some curiosity and sense of self. But your mind can overrule the fear, assuring you it's the right thing to do. And — sharp intake of air — you do it. Or better yet, you try it. Each moment is a test anyway, so you might as well try something new. A new interest, different people, new conversation, possibly another set of values. Test the freedom of being single. Yes, it takes gumption and maybe even a slight chill of fear. But do it anyway, because your mind knows it's a good thing for you. Be gutsy and show yourself to be a hero.

DEAR SUSAN: About going "all the way" in a relationship, as in a recent letter from a young man, I'm not sure the over-30 crowd waits even four months to be intimate. (I'm in the over-40 crowd now, and I know for sure that my friends wait less than four months.) A very short wait is really not that unusual or bizarre. I suspect that many in previous generations did not wait that long, either, but kept it secret because of the social mores of the times. — From the "Single File" blog

DEAR BLOGGER: How can anyone dictate the number of months — or weeks — needed for this most personal intimacy? Sexual joining can happen on the spur of the moment, synchronized impulse born of mutual longing. If partners' instincts are finely honed to receive strong loving energy, the relationship that builds can even be stronger for it. And yes, the times in which the acts occur make all the difference whether society approves of or it condemns certain relationships. But in the end, that important decision can blossom into full-blown love only if it's mutually born of loving respect. What is your memory of your first sexual experience?

Have a question for Susan? You can reach her directly at [email protected].

Photo credit: Kristina Servant