DEAR SUSAN: One comment regarding the very bitter man who wrote about your supposed man-bashing: I think it's funny he even assumes that most women want a breadwinner. Yes, I agree there are women out there looking for security, but most of the ones I know dearly want to be just as independent and self-supporting in a relationship as the man. I myself look for sincere companionship and love — certainly not for someone to "finally take over the bills." — From the "Single File" blog

DEAR BLOGGER: Women are, like it or not, the feeders of the race. It falls to them to provide stability for their young, a safe and comfortable nest for the family — so they tend to gravitate to men of financial stability. That in no way should be the sole (or main) attraction between the sexes, but for most generations, daughters were instructed to follow the scent of a rich man. (Yours truly was among them.) Which accounts for the sky-high divorce statistics. Then along came pill-shaped emancipation for women, and its scent of independence lured many to a different route — dollarwise independence. (Not to be confused with undependence. Ahem.) Things appear to be settling down between the genders now, although some traces of female snottiness still infect today's relationships. And it looks as if mothers' urgings to marry up have quietly melted away. Most women cherish their chance to be self-supporting and think more in those terms than ever before. But, friend, we'll see which way the wheel turns. Old patterns die hard.

DEAR SUSAN: I'm an 18-year-old man with a really terrible social life. What's a good way to improve it? — From the "Single File" blog

DEAR BLOGGER: At your age, you can get away with a lot of social no-nos that many people sneer at when they reach the golden age of 30. So go for it. Give a really informal party for friends and their friends; the dress code would be nonexistent. Meeting new people is key at any age but most especially yours. Volunteer for canvassing work. Get out the vote. Put yourself on a crisis hotline for children in distress. Do the undoable, the spontaneous, the offbeat. And ask a friend to come with you when you do. In other words, shift your focus from the usual, the conventional, the ordinary. Think outside the box. Way outside! Show up at the local animal shelter to groom and befriend man's best friend. (You may even take one home.) In other words, meet people you would never meet the usual way. You'll learn from each other. And at the same time, you'll find out a lot about yourself and them. You can't learn much from people in your world, so dare to reach beyond it to discover the new and unusual. You're about to have the time of your life by taking the road less traveled.

Have a question for Susan? You can reach her directly at [email protected]. We've uncovered another treasure trove of "Single File" paperbacks — in perfect condition, signed by Susan, ready to enjoy. Send $15 and your address: Susan Deitz, C/O Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254.

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