DEAR SUSAN: Screaming and crying that men should find morbidly obese women sexy or women should find morbidly obese men hot is political correctness gone awry. If you are 50 to 200 pounds overweight, you have to either find someone attracted to body fat (a limited market) or — duh — lose the pounds. If you choose the latter, I personally recommend a protein power diet — one low in carbs and high in protein and healthy fats. I myself lost 50 excess pounds, and looking back at my photos from those days, it's not surprising that not many men found me sexy. My husband used to say I was "lovely," but we didn't have a lot of sex. Gee, I wonder why. My feminist friends at the time were telling me to stay fat because "fat is a feminist issue." I'm so glad I didn't listen. — From the "Single File" blog

DEAR BLOGGER: What fat has to do with feminism is beyond me. What kind of statement does it make, that you love quantities of food? That you don't care about your dress size? That men only want women for their appearance? That you don't care if you never have another date? That you secretly hate men and lust for women? But even if you do prefer your own sex, don't you realize that other women have eyes and most probably prefer lithe, healthy women? As for sex, forget it. The libido slows down to a crawl when besieged by too many rolls of fat, to say nothing of the visual turnoff fat represents to most everyone. But worst of all is the drag it puts on your whole system. The body simply doesn't want a lot of fat around the heart. Pear-shaped individuals have a negative forecast for survival. Healthy is the name of the game, whatever your lifestyle. Keeping weight down to normal levels is the first step toward giving yourself good odds for a long and healthy life.

DEAR SUSAN: Could we please, please do away with the notion that every older woman who gets involved with (or wants to get involved with) a younger man is after the same thing?! There are many motivations for this scenario. Some older women feel that a younger man will make them feel younger. Others think a relationship with one will be simpler and less complicated. It's also possible to get involved with someone without realizing his age at first. Perhaps some women don't have any strategy or philosophy, finding themselves attracted to younger men and acting on it. (That's the way it is in Europe and the world over.) As for younger men feeling like prey, both genders usually feel flattered to be chased. And not all older women think of themselves as huntresses on the prowl. Sheesh. — From the "Single File" blog

DEAR BLOGGER: Well, my friend, from my perch in Singleworld, the odds are not in favor of an older woman's being only a friend in the life of a younger man. Period. Of course, not all such combinations are libido-driven, but if we took a poll thereof, the numbers would be highly stacked in favor of a sexual basis for the togetherness. Let's face facts. Middle-aged men are stressed with business, quotas, tax returns, family obligations, etc. That's hardly a formula for vigorous romping. And as a wise woman confided to me, men get old so soon. Not all of them, of course, but most. Gather ye rosebuds while ye may. Sigh.

We've uncovered another treasure trove of "Single File" paperbacks — in perfect condition, signed by Susan, ready to enjoy. Send $15 and your address: Susan Deitz, C/O Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. Have a question for Susan? You can reach her directly at [email protected].

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