Slow Moves

By Susan Deitz

February 5, 2020 4 min read

The S'More dating app believes you're wise enough to suspend visual judgment of a candidate until you've built some bridges of commonality with him or her! It begins by giving you a group of names (chosen by an algorithm) based on your interests and values and then encourages you to make choices. The first photo of a prospective candidate is deliberately blurred, clearing gradually as like-mindedness (aka mutuality, friendship) between you is more firmly established through relaxed conversations and instinctual cues. This, my friends, is the app founders' version of "slow dating." (Remember the horror of speed dating, which gave you four seconds to pass judgement on the stranger facing you before you were pushed to another chair and another strange face?)

S'More gives you and your choices plenty of unhurried time to speak about your lives, your goals, your plans for the future. (The more I delve into the details of this app, the more sure I am of its integrity. Truth to tell, its values of slowness and honesty are so compatible with my advice to the unmarried it leaves me breathless!)

Some industry-first features: One hundred percent of users are required to verify their profile with a selfie, reducing the risk of catfishing and underage use. Profiles feature a kindness score, encouraging positive behavior. Users are limited to the number of chats they can have at one time, meant to encourage deeper conversations. They interact with profiles that feel like collages, with icons that can be "winked" at to indicate interest; audio and video responses to questions; Apple Music history; photo galleries; social links; and more.

Though your prospective match's photo can't be seen at first, time is on your side: Communication deepens; intimacy grows; and you get to know each other before chemistry plays its part! Which, of course, begs the question: How good are you at suspending judgment? Would you — could you — have long, honest talks with a prospective love partner you haven't yet seen?! It's certainly not the usual dating app, with its appetite for lightning-fast judgements based on a slouched shoulder or a flirty smile! My sense is that most of us have been torn up and badly disenchanted by the dating-as-a-business world and are (understandably) wary of moving into it again. Which is why I'm offering this unique dating app for you to seriously consider. Founder Adam Cohen-Aslatei built it to "respect the fact that every one of our users is complex, unique and much more than a selfie. While physical attraction is very important, it's only part of the love equation."

We've uncovered another treasure trove of "Single File" paperbacks - in perfect condition, signed by Susan, ready to enjoy. Send $15 and your address: Susan Deitz, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 Third St., Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. Have a question for Susan? You can reach her directly at [email protected]

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