Dear Margo: I've been dating my boyfriend for eight months. Overall, things have been great. There are times we get into arguments and don't agree, but things generally get resolved quickly. Except for one: About two months ago I answered his phone when his old girlfriend called while he was in the shower. I said he would call back and that was the end of it. My curiosity, though, got the best of me, and I went through his texts after the phone call. What I found was heartbreaking. He was basically having phone sex through text messages with his ex-girlfriend. The messages were very explicit. I confronted him and told him that in order for us to continue our relationship he would have to stop all contact with this woman. He agreed and I forgave him. Today I found out from friends that he is still talking to her. I confronted him again. He said it was true, and that I had no right to tell him with whom he could and could not speak. He says I am controlling and worry too much that he will cheat on me. I think I have every right to tell him not to speak to this woman after what I saw on his phone. What do you think? — Too Controlling?

Dear Too: I think you should tell him that you've decided he should, indeed, continue to sex text with this girl and, furthermore, that you think it would be a good idea for him to have real sex with her, as well, because you are now out of the picture. Any guy who is caught red-handed, as it were, and then has the nerve to tell you you're too concerned he will cheat is an idiot — or he thinks you are. You might even let him know the romance is over via text message. I think that would be a nice touch — Margo, huffily

Roll the Dice and Say "I Do."

Dear Margo: For the past four years my daughter, "Miranda," has lived with her boyfriend, "Sam." My husband and I have tried to be supportive of this arrangement, but we disapprove of couples living together before marriage. When they mentioned they were considering marriage, we immediately offered to pay for the ceremony. Now the engagement is official and Miranda has started sending me her ideas for the wedding. I hate her plans. She wants to get married in Las Vegas, as she and Sam vacation there frequently. Miranda says they have been saving reward points at their favorite casino so they can use the points to help pay for hotel rooms and meals. She also offered to pay for the rehearsal dinner and a day trip to the Grand Canyon so we can get to know our new in-laws. Her plans make some sense, as Sam's parents and sister live in different states and it's very easy to find direct flights to Las Vegas from almost anywhere. The ceremony itself would be held at an outdoor location outside the city.

I can tell Miranda is trying to make this as non-Vegas-like as possible, but I still disapprove of her ideas. I want her to get married in our church with all our family present. She only wants to invite parents, siblings and two very close friends to the Vegas ceremony. I think in our haste to see her married my husband and I made an offer we hadn't thought through. I don't want to pay for a destination wedding that will exclude most of our friends and family. Is it too late to back out of my offer to pay? — Traditional Midwest Mom

Dear Trad: I do think it's too late, and I also am a great believer in letting a couple have their wedding just the way they want it. Often, destination weddings are designed for the purpose of not replicating the mob scene from "Quo Vadis." Also, the attempt to make it non-Vegas-like shows some effort to have it be in good taste. I mean, I saw no mention of an Elvis impersonator officiating at a drive-through wedding chapel. I suggest that when the young people return to your town you have a big reception-party for all your friends and family, which should make everyone happy. — Margo, honorably

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Dear Margo is written by Margo Howard, Ann Landers' daughter. All letters must be sent via e-mail to [email protected]. Due to a high volume of e-mail, not all letters will be answered.