Dear Margo: Here's some background about my religious history. I was raised Christian, with no real teaching, but we celebrated Christmas and Easter. When I was 16, my parents started going to church. At 18, I stopped going.

My mother thinks that college ruined my religious beliefs. Now I'm almost 30 and married, with two children of my own. I tell my children (ages 6 and 3) why we celebrate Christmas and Easter and also teach them the Christian religion. I don't take them to church because I haven't found one that does not teach a literal translation of the Bible.

My family is having trouble with this. I want my children raised Christian, but I also want them to know other religions, as well, so when they are of age they can choose their own beliefs. When I turned 18, I found there was a whole world outside the little box I was raised in. (Until I was in junior high, I thought "kosher" was a pickle.)

Recently, my religious beliefs have become a source of arguments or jokes at just about every family gathering. Some in my family think I'm damned for all eternity. My grandmother and mother don't understand how I don't believe every written word.

How do I tell them politely that these are the beliefs of my husband and myself and this is how we wish to raise our children? — Independent Thinker

Dear Inde: It is interesting that your folks didn't make religion important while you were growing up but now find fault with your explorations.

I have found that families who want children to choose their own religion, as you do, have kids who wind up with no affiliation. Perhaps a good way to let them learn of other religions is to let them go with friends — or take them — to different denominational services. However, I would suggest you pick one church as home base, so the kids will feel somewhat grounded.

As a mechanistic approach to the ridicule or arguments, try soft-pedaling religious discussions in front of them. Just take the subject off the table, telling them you already know their thoughts. The important thing is that you and your husband agree.

And by the way, I was old enough to know better when someone informed me that King James did not write the Bible. — Margo, faithfully

Dear Margo: My cousin is a wonderful man whom my husband and I both love spending time with. He is not only family, but a friend. The problem is his cell phone.

During a recent dinner out, he took five separate calls, one of which lasted 15 minutes. My husband and I were amazed, while waiting for him to rejoin the conversation, that the interruptions were not business calls.

How can we let our cousin know how rude this behavior is, without being rude ourselves? — On Hold in D.C.

Dear On: Directly is the way I would choose. Just tell him it louses up dinner to have him talking on the phone and you missed his participation in the conversation. Do not let him put you on the defensive. You also might mention that, barring an emergency, such behavior is considered rude, so that he can learn something. — Margo, boorishly

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Dear Margo is written by Margo Howard, Ann Landers' daughter. All letters must be sent via e-mail to [email protected]. Due to a high volume of e-mail, not all letters will be answered.