Q: My birthday is in January, that awkward month immediately following the holiday season. Every year, it seems like my family is exhausted and stressed about finding me a gift. This year, I want to help reduce their stress so that we can all enjoy the occasion.

Do you have some suggestions?

A: Yes! Alert your family that your plan this year is to simplify things as much as possible.

Instead of having them worry about gifts, tell them you want them to give you a simple card in which they express the most important things that are affecting their lives and how they are coping with them. Are they choosing to focus on what's really important? Are they looking for solutions?

Recently, I learned a great deal more about what was happening in my family members' lives by asking them. We have stepped up to help with their concerns as much as we are able. There are many reasons why family members choose not to ask for advice and help. Sometimes we are surprised by issues that could have been avoided if we'd known about them beforehand.

Important questions revolve around faith, health, fears, jealousy, goals, finances, timing, grandchildren, careers and other priorities.

If they are feeling guilty about not giving gifts, reassure them that the card and thoughtful note will be effort well-spent! — Doug

CUSTOM CUISINE NEEDED

Q: My husband and I are going to host a family reunion in March. This year, we have a complication: Our granddaughter has decided to be vegan.

I'm concerned that she is choosing a detrimental diet, and I don't know what to do about the meal. What should I do to have a successful party?

A: For the best experience, organize your concerns about your granddaughter's diet and prioritize them accordingly. Your immediate concern is to find food she will be able to eat. As the purpose of a family gathering is to enjoy one another's company, you should accommodate your guests' needs as much as possible.

Family traditions are great for a sense of community, but many of them revolve around food. It's unlikely that you'll change the main entree, but remember to include your granddaughter in the festivities. Add or alter a side dish or two for her to eat — enough for her to have a full meal. Consider alternative sources of protein, such as nuts, soy products or beans. If you are at a loss, ask her how you can accommodate her needs.

To enjoy your time together, reserve serious talks until after the holidays. Your granddaughter is ultimately in charge of her own diet. If you try to force her to change, you may lose sight of your goal to see her happy and healthy. Instead, make sure to discuss her efforts to meet her nutritional needs. If her diet seems unsustainable, you can provide outside insight. Consider consulting a nutritionist or doctor who can help her create a plan for long-term health. — Emma

Doug Mayberry makes the most of life in a Southern California retirement community. Contact him at [email protected]. Emma, Doug's granddaughter, helps write this column. To find out more about Doug Mayberry and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.