Q: As a widow at 67, I continue living in the same home I have for over 30 years. I have three loving grown children and their families, who love me, and I love in return. However, all three live more than 300 miles away. I am in fairly good health, but I am beginning to think I should sell my house and move where one family lives. Progressively, I feel uncertain about making right decisions and feel the need to lean on someone I can trust and cares about me, especially regarding my health and financial responsibilities.

I have hesitated to do so because I love my neighbors and my home, but as many seniors do, I realize I need to make changes. Am I thinking clearly?

A: Yes. Most seniors face needing advice, decisions, living options and loneliness as major issues. The secret to making your move more easily doable, and as comfortable as possible, is to enlist your family to do the grunt and paper work.

Also, develop a positive, forward outlook as to how best to become contented and accepting after your move. Consider your religious preferences, new doctor, and the bonus of being relieved of your loneliness. Having your family in place and available will make you more comfortable and happier, and make you feel safer.

To avoid isolation, begin to think about how you can stay connected. Locate your senior center and plan to sign up. If you have grandchildren, begin thinking of ways you can show your love for each other. Ask them to teach you how to use your computer, and plan to take walks and see movies together. Your family will be an important part of that need and will encourage you to continue and maintain a forward-looking attitude, and be pleased to find a new relationship.

Isolation, which often causes depression, is a no-no. Stay involved with others because we need each other. Being close to your family will enhance your confidence and offer the opportunity to make your move, adjustment and routine a successful one!

Q: My husband and are both in good health, believe we have adequate pensions funds for our lifetimes, own our home mortgage-free, and are debt-free.

We are looking forward to getting out of our rat race in the next five years or so. What should we be doing now?

A: Five years will pass quickly, and you are smart to begin to calculate actual retirement costs. Begin your homework by writing out your first anticipated retirement work sheet. Costs will increase, but it will be easier to regularly track and revise your original budget.

List your total assets now, your income, current living expenses, Social Security options, the best time to sign up, and best guess of your long-term health care expenses. Update your estate plans, check where you prefer to live and its costs, consider the possibility of having to support adult children, investment options, car and vacation costs, insurance and your anticipated overall inflation predictions.

With this information, you will be better prepared to retire and avoid surprises. You will also relieve yourself of a great deal of stress when you choose retirement.

Doug Mayberry makes the most of life in a Southern California Retirement community. Contact him at [email protected]. To find out more about Doug Mayberry and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.