Dear Readers: Today is Rosh Hashanah, the Jewish New Year. People are encouraged to forgive, reflect and start fresh. And while it is a Jewish holiday, its message is one that just about anyone can appreciate.

The idea is simple: Take a look at the year behind you and ask yourself a few questions. Was I kind enough? Did I make time for the people I love? Did I hold onto a grudge longer than I needed to? Did I say "I'm sorry" when I should have? Did I spend too much time worrying about things I could not control?

That last one may deserve its own holiday.

Rosh Hashanah gives us permission to stop, reflect and begin again. Jewish families traditionally hear the sounding of the shofar and eat apples dipped in honey to symbolize the hope for a sweet new year.

I love that tradition because it is both simple and optimistic. We cannot know what the coming year will bring, but we can decide how we want to meet it.

Maybe that means being a little more patient with your spouse. Maybe it means calling the friend you keep meaning to call. Maybe it means forgiving someone — not because what happened was OK but because carrying around anger is exhausting.

And sometimes the person we most need to forgive is ourselves.

Most of us are harder on ourselves than we would ever be on someone we love. We replay mistakes, second-guess decisions and wonder why we did not know then what we know now.

But that is the whole point of growing older and, hopefully, wiser. We learn.

A new beginning does not have to happen on Jan. 1. It can happen anytime we decide to do something differently.

We can listen more and interrupt less. We can put our phones away at dinner. We can say thank you more often. We can stop waiting for the "perfect time" to enjoy our lives.

Rosh Hashanah reminds us that life is precious, relationships matter, and none of us gets everything right.

So whether you are Jewish, Christian, Muslim, Buddhist, Hindu, spiritual, agnostic or simply someone trying to be a decent human being, perhaps there is something worth borrowing from this beautiful holiday.

Take a moment to appreciate what you have. Make peace where you can. Tell people you love them while they are here to hear it.

And if you happen to have an apple nearby, dip it in a little honey. We could all use a sweeter year.

And to everyone, may the year ahead bring more kindness, more laughter, more forgiveness and fewer reasons to lose sleep over things that probably will not matter a year from now.

"Out of Bounds: Estrangement, Boundaries and the Search for Forgiveness" is out now! Annie Lane's third anthology is for anyone who has lived with anger, estrangement or the deep ache of being wronged — because forgiveness isn't for them. It's for you. Visit http://www.creatorspublishing.com for more information. Follow Annie Lane on Instagram at @dearannieofficial. Send your questions for Annie Lane to [email protected].

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