Dear Annie: My husband passed away a little over 18 months ago. He was part of a family business, and he became disabled while he worked there. Eventually, he was fired by his twin brother. I'm not really sure why, other than the fact that his financial abilities had declined so much. He was making mistakes and costing the company money.

In the days following his death, I had asked his family for privacy. Since then, however, I haven't heard from any of them. No one from the family has contacted me to see how I am doing. If I need anything, it is just to talk. There was no funeral or memorial — at my husband's request. I am totally clueless as to why they've abandoned me. However, I managed to go on without their support (insert sarcasm here) and am doing pretty well.

My question is this: We are all "of an age." What do I do when one of them passes? They are no longer family to me, but my husband spent his lifetime trying to be their "good brother," and I'm sure he certainly wouldn't approve if I ignored THEM in their time of sorrow. But I don't want to participate in anything having to do with them. I'd like to send a card and maybe a floral arrangement and move on. How do I handle this when it inevitably happens? — Shut Out of Family

Dear Shut out of Family: I am very sorry for the loss of your husband. You asked your family for privacy, and they are giving it to you, and now you are upset that they didn't reach out. If you want them to be in touch, then tell them that. If you are all "of an age," why not reach out and see how they are doing?

They might think you abandoned them, but they will never know until you communicate your feelings to them. Don't wait until it's too late and make up a narrative about what you will do when one passes away. Just be kind now. You will be much happier about it, and you know that your late husband would applaud you being the bigger, more mature person by extending the olive branch first.

Dear Annie: I live in a midsize city in the South. I am good friends with the mayor. He's a really great guy, and unlike most politicians, he doesn't have a dishonest bone in his body. He won reelection two months ago, getting well over 50% of the vote in a crowded field and avoiding a November runoff.

Despite that fact, one of my neighbors still has a lawn sign of my friend's main opponent. I have to drive past that stupid sign every day, and it especially angers me because the opponent never called my friend to congratulate him. I was at his election night party, and around midnight, it became clear that he was going to get over 50% of the vote. He didn't want to give a speech until his main opponent conceded. But she didn't call that night, and she still hasn't called him. This was not even a dirty race. She just lacks character.

I'm at a loss as to what to do with my neighbor. I really hate that sign, and I want it gone. I don't know the neighbor personally. I shouted "hi" from the street when my kids went to the door trick-or-treating one time.

Please help. — Angry Neighbor

Dear Angry Neighbor: The best revenge is living well. Your candidate won, and it sounds like he won for good reason — based on your letter. You could put up a sign for your candidate and focus on that. Yes, it is rude that the other candidate didn't call to concede, but the way someone treats another human being says a lot more about them than it does about the person being mistreated. If we all voted for the same person and were not allowed to express our differing opinions, the world would be very boring and pretty horrible.

"How Can I Forgive My Cheating Partner?" is out now! Annie Lane's second anthology — featuring favorite columns on marriage, infidelity, communication and reconciliation — is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit http://www.creatorspublishing.com for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to [email protected].

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