Dear Annie: I am the grandmother of two. My almost-3-year-old granddaughter told me she does not love her "Uncle Dave." I asked her why and she said because he tickles her. Her parents, my son and his wife, push their kids to "give hugs" upon visiting and leaving friends and relatives.

I mentioned this to my daughter-in-law, and she seemed to brush it off. I also texted my son and he replied, "k."

My granddaughter's birthday party is coming up soon, and Uncle Dave will be there. I plan on being vigilant so that she won't be subjected to being touched in a way she is not comfortable with, and I worry about the fact that her parents don't seem concerned. I have been practicing with her to say loudly, "Stop! I don't like you tickling me."

I feel the need to back up and protect my grandchildren. I've also considered preventing the invasion of her personal space by addressing it before it happens. Do I wait or stop it beforehand? — Granddaughter Needs To Be Respected

Dear Granddaughter Needs To Be Respected: Empowering children to express boundaries like this is a relatively new shift — one that her parents might not take seriously yet.

Encouraging your granddaughter to speak up for herself is worthwhile at any age, but at 3, she's a bit young to fend for herself against unwanted tickles and hugs. Have a calm word with your son before the party. It's usually easier to get your point across in person rather than over text. Frame it simply: We want to raise children who know their boundaries and who see those boundaries respected.

Protecting a child doesn't always mean stepping in front of them. In this case, it means making sure the adults in the room are willing to listen.

Dear Annie: Tell me if I'm being superficial. I love my boyfriend, and we have been together for two years. But for the past week, I've been doubting his love for me.

It all started on my birthday. He gave me a nice card and a wrapped present — with a baseball cap inside. His exact words when I opened it: "I know you like wearing baseball caps when you haven't washed your hair."

Annie, I got him a very expensive watch for his birthday. I deliberated for months beforehand. Every holiday or birthday, we seem to run into this issue; I put a lot of thought into my gifts, and he gets me something stupid.

It's not like I want something fancy or expensive. But I want to know he put even a little effort in, and I want to feel like he tried. Am I being too materialistic, or is this a red flag? — Underwhelmed

Dear Underwhelmed: Before you measure his love by the price tag — or the effort — consider that not everyone speaks "gift" as well as you do. Some people show love in time, help or presence, and anything wrapped in a box is an afterthought.

That said, there's no reason you shouldn't feel special on your birthday. You'll just need to be specific with him about what makes a gift meaningful to you. Before the next holiday, spell it out for him.

It may seem unromantic to ask for what you want, but boyfriends aren't mind readers. After enough gift exchanges, he'll catch on to your likes and dislikes.

"Out of Bounds: Estrangement, Boundaries and the Search for Forgiveness" is out now! Annie Lane's third anthology is for anyone who has lived with anger, estrangement or the deep ache of being wronged — because forgiveness isn't for them. It's for you. Visit http://www.creatorspublishing.com for more information. Follow Annie Lane on Instagram at @dearannieofficial. Send your questions for Annie Lane to [email protected].

Photo credit: Kindred Hues Photography at Unsplash