Dear Annie: My husband and I have been together for 10 years. We found each other when we needed each other the most. I fell head over heels in love with him and am still just as much in love with him a decade later.

Four months after we met, he asked me to marry him, and two months after that, we found out we were pregnant. We both were in our late 30s. I had two children from a previous marriage living at home with me. He stepped right into the daddy role and has done the absolute best job possible. My oldest has now made us grandparents. My husband is the best papaw our grandson could have ever asked for.

He is an amazing person, and I know he loves me with all his heart, but since I had gotten pregnant with our child, he has not been very affectionate toward me. In the past six years, his health has declined, and we've both gained weight. I have talked to him about this. His answer is, "It's just the way I am." He kisses me good morning and good night, and he sends me text messages throughout the day telling me that he loves me.

My husband is attentive and caring when I'm sick or hurt. We hold hands; we chat and talk like always, but if I want anything more than that, I have to initiate it and face the possibility of rejection.

Being rejected by the love of my life just destroys me. We went from crazed-acting teenagers to not having relations for months on end. I know my body has changed, and so has his. I've begged him to see someone — maybe it's something medical and can be treated — but he refuses. He says the fact that he is not interested in having sex with me hurts him just as much as it does me.

I have tried to be understanding and loving about this, but it's getting harder. I'm also scared to death imagining that I will never again feel the touch or passion of a man.

Leaving him would devastate my whole family and me. Not one single time have I ever considered cheating on him — until lately. I'm craving the attention and the intimacy. I know I could go elsewhere and get my physical needs met, but cheating is something I've always sworn I would never do. Lately, I've been thinking about it more and more. Thank you for listening to me, and I'd love some advice. — Missing My Husband

Dear Missing My Husband: Cheating will only complicate things by bringing another person into your otherwise wonderful marriage. It's time for the two of you to seek professional marriage counseling. What comes through in your letter is the picture of a couple that is very much in love with each other and mutually respects each other but is just stuck in a rut. The best way to get out of a rut is to figure out why you are in this and, with the help of a professional, get out of the rut. In addition, I would get both of you checked out by a doctor and make sure that there is nothing wrong physically with either of you.

"How Can I Forgive My Cheating Partner?" is out now! Annie Lane's second anthology — featuring favorite columns on marriage, infidelity, communication and reconciliation — is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit http://www.creatorspublishing.com for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to [email protected].

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