Dear Readers: A number of you wrote in concerned about the woman who is Living With Scrooge, the husband who has plenty of money but keeps his wife on a tight budget and makes her life miserable. I suggested marriage counseling, which many readers agreed with, but an equal number feel that the horse has left the barn and I should have advised her to run for the hills. I would agree if there were an issue of physical safety, but that was not the case. Still, I find alternative opinions to be interesting and wanted to share some with you.
Dear Annie: Pease get back to this lady. By the tone of her letter and what was left unsaid, I'm sure she is being emotionally, and even perhaps physically, abused. I would definitely suggest that this lady leave Scrooge as soon as possible. She is suffering, and God knows what her insides (heart, liver and brain) must be like, slowly dying as well.
My sister died at 65 because she didn't leave such a horrible man. Please, suggest that she leave now. If she stays, it will only get worse.
I have no accreditation in this field, but I know a bad situation when I read about it. Thanks, Annie. — You Do So Much Good
Dear Annie: I agree with your comment that dwelling on her daughter-in-law is a waste of time and energy. However, I believe that Living With Scrooge should seek the advice of an attorney rather than a marriage counselor at this point.
The reader said nothing about having any affection for her husband and admitted that she made a huge mistake by marrying him. She needs to find out what the property division laws are in her state, and what assets her husband actually has, rather than depending on hearsay and snooping. — Reader in New Mexico
Dear Annie: This lady does not need a marriage counselor. She needs a very strong divorce lawyer! Both must work together to find where his assets are located, i.e., bank accounts, investments and the like.
I am not familiar with the laws in Las Vegas and what she would be entitled to receive, but she is legally married to him and should be entitled to something.
A petition for divorce should be filed as well as a document freezing all his assets.
This is a marriage that is not worth saving under the circumstances described by her. It is toxic; she is treated poorly by her husband and the family, and she is dying inside. What is there to save? It is time for her to move forward.
I send my prayers to her and wish her the very best. — That Marriage Is Over
Dear Readers: Thank you for your insights and suggestions. You make good points, though I am hopeful the marriage can be salvaged through marriage counseling if he goes with her. Remember, the woman who wrote in had her own job, bought her own house and was able to support herself before allowing Scrooge to change her life. If he refuses to go, then I agree that finding a good attorney to protect her would be the next logical step.
"Ask Me Anything: A Year of Advice From Dear Annie" is out now! Annie Lane's debut book — featuring favorite columns on love, friendship, family and etiquette - is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit http://www.creatorspublishing.com for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to [email protected]