Dear Annie: I am writing to you with my heart completely shattered. Someone I had been seeing for a while, whom I thought felt the same for me as I do for him, made a complete fool out of me and burned me to the ground.
I am not a clinging vine and was very understanding about his job and never made demands on his time. He lied to me, blew me off and just stopped communicating with me. He wouldn't answer my calls or reply to my text messages. I have not slept well in almost a week.
My wise-beyond-her-years daughter told me not to let him have so much power over me, but I am having a very hard time with this. What can I do to put him out of my mind and move on? I didn't deserve what he did to me, and I know he doesn't deserve me, but that doesn't make this hurt any less. Any advice? — Brokenhearted in North Dakota
Dear Brokenhearted: In this case, daughter knows best. She sounds like an intelligent, kind young woman, and you must be a remarkable woman yourself to have fostered those qualities in her. Keep setting a great example. Act how you'd want her to act if some guy did this to her.
As for making it hurt less, time is the best salve, but exercise works wonders, too. Make a playlist of empowering songs and go for a run, do yoga or just jump around the house.
Although it hurts terribly now, that ache in your heart will get a little duller every day. Any man who's too cowardly to have an honest conversation is not worth your time. Eventually, you'll want to thank this loser for breaking up with you.
Dear Annie: I hope you can help me with my request. It came to my attention the other day that many elderly people and those without a computer are not aware of those family members and friends who post online condolences.
A 90-year-old family friend of mine had no idea that over two dozen people had written to her and her family when her husband passed away two years ago. I copied this information for her and sent it to her. She was very grateful. She was also a bit hurt that the funeral home and her own children did not think or care to do the same. Please, Annie, put the word out there. Funeral homes should make this a part of their package. She called me again to say that she has called several of the people who posted their condolences online, and she said that this is the best she has felt in over two years! It's such a small thing to do when someone is mourning, but it means so much. — Spreading the Compassion
Dear Spreading: Thank you for this thoughtful note. In this day and age, many people have forgotten how to truly reach out to others outside of social media. I'm sure your message will inspire a few.
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