Editor's Note: Hundreds of Ann Landers' loyal readers have requested that newspapers continue to publish her columns. These letters originally appeared in 1999.

Dear Ann Landers: Knowing your strong views about sending thank-you notes, I'm sending a clipping from our local paper as proof that this actually appeared. At the end of an article about the marriage of two local people, along with a beautiful wedding picture, it said, "In lieu of sending personal thank-you notes for wedding gifts, the couple made a donation to the American Cancer Society."

Is this the lazy way out, or what? Aren't people who send wedding gifts entitled to a written thank-you note, even if it only says, "Thank you for the wedding gift"? Is it a new trend to thank people en masse when the bridal photo appears in the paper? Please say it isn't so. — An Ohio Grandmother

Dear Ohio Granny: No, it's NOT a new trend. It's an attempt to escape the tedious job of writing thank-you notes and, in my book, inexcusable. Anyone who takes the time and spends the money to send a wedding gift is entitled to a written note of appreciation. Anything short of that is a cop-out and totally unacceptable.

Dear Ann Landers: Your response to "Single File in Aurora, Ill.," surprised me. "Single" complained that her husband didn't want to participate in social events. You said he was probably unsure of himself in social situations, and suggested he could be cured by gradual exposure to increasing numbers of people.

Why is it that perfectly sane and respectable folks are allowed to say that an evening of Mozart would bore them to tears, yet, when someone says the same about an evening of coffee and chatter, he is considered "peculiar"? Just as some people cannot carry a tune or run a mile in under four minutes, I am not able to sit in a room and engage in mindless chatter. This does not mean I am unsure of myself in social situations. I am plenty sure of myself. I just hate these occasions the same way someone else might hate an afternoon of drag racing, heavy-metal music or foreign films. It's a matter of personal preference.

I am a successful career woman. I work with 11 full-time and 30 seasonal employees. I enjoy my work, and relate well to others. I have been married for 14 years to a wonderful, outgoing man. However, it drives me crazy to sit in a room with people for three hours and listen to non-stop chitchat. My brain turns to mush, and my eyes glaze over.

Perhaps you could have suggested that "Single" work out a compromise with her husband. He could agree to a certain amount of socializing in exchange for a guilt-free pass the rest of the time. He doesn't need to be cured. He isn't defective.

Those of us who abhor an evening of socialization can still be normal, happy, productive individuals. Please encourage others to accept our personal lifestyle preferences instead of providing them with helpful hints on how to change us. — Happy and Anti-Social in Everyland

Dear Happy and Anti-Social: I consider myself properly told off. You are perfectly right. If your husband doesn't mind your wish not to socialize, it is indeed none of my business. I apologize. P.S.: Maybe what you need is more interesting friends.

Do you have questions about sex but no one to talk to? Ann Landers' booklet "Sex and the Teenager" is frank and to the point. To find out more about Ann Landers and read her past columns, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.

ANN LANDERS

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