Classic Ann Landers

By Ann Landers

May 26, 2019 3 min read

Editor's Note: Hundreds of Ann Landers' loyal readers have requested that newspapers continue to publish her columns. These letters originally appeared in 1999.

Dear Ann Landers: My husband and I have a trivial problem, but have yet to get a definite answer, even though we have asked family and friends and even a butcher. Here's the question: Does a chicken have one breast or two?

My husband and I are on a calorie-counting diet and were tallying up supper last night. We could not agree on how much to count for the whole roasted chicken we had eaten. I had the breast meat from one side, and he had the portion from the other side. I counted mine as a half-breast, and he said it should be counted as a whole breast, because chickens have two breasts, one on each side. This sounds to me like a "man" thing. All the guys we have asked say chickens have two breasts. All the women say they have just one.

We have been married for seven years and have never had a dispute that we could not resolve, so we decided to ask Ann Landers. We both read your column every morning and can't wait to see your answer. — Miss M in Shreveport, La.

Dear Miss M.: You need wait no longer. Chickens have one breast. Breast meat is between 30 calories to 45 calories per ounce. Most diets consider "a breast" to be a split breast, which is one-half of the whole breast. Bon appetit!

Dear Ann Landers: I suspect my wife of six years is having an affair. She means a great deal to me, and I don't want a divorce. My suspicions are beginning to wreck my personal and professional life, and I don't know what to do.

I recently heard of a TV show that investigates and catches cheating spouses on film. I am seriously considering contacting the producers. Do you think my wife and I would be able to reconcile if I had her investigated and caught her on this show? — Just Asking in the Big D

Dear Big D: If you had your wife investigated, and she were caught cheating, and it later appeared on TV, your marriage would not stand the chance of the proverbial snowball in hell. I think you need some professional help, Mister. Please get it.

To find out more about Ann Landers and read her past columns, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.

ANN LANDERS

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