Q: I am in the process of looking for a new job, and I am getting interviews. The trouble is that I have had many interviews and haven't gotten the jobs. I think I blow the interviews by not knowing how to answer everything and by being to honest, but I'm not sure how to respond correctly to many of questions. I've always thought honesty was the best policy, but now I don't know. Can you tell me what I should and should not be saying because I must be doing something wrong?

A: Smart honesty is the best policy. That doesn't mean to lie about your education, background, work history, or job duties. Smart honesty means think about what you are saying before you say it. If you are asked about why you left a job, and you left because your boss was a terror to work for, don't share the bad feeling in the name of being honest.

The fact is that offering your feelings about people are not facts, they are strictly personal feelings, and others' opinions may or may not be similar. Even if everyone in an office dislikes a particular boss, when in an interview, it won't help to offer those negative thoughts about people. Everyone has harbors negative thoughts about someone, whether bosses, co-workers, friends, or acquaintances. Before you speak, ask yourself what you have to gain or lose by sharing those thoughts.

If you are in the market for a job, sharing negative thoughts about those at work will only make an interviewer worry about what you might say about them if they hire you. No one wants to be disliked, not even those who are seemingly rude and nasty to others. They may be blind to how their actions affect people, but if confronted by the reality of their bad behavior, they will react defensively to the information.

If you are 100 percent right about your boss, and everyone else feels the same, it is still not wise to share that information, not even in an exit interview. When interviewing for a new job, that person doesn't know your personal situation at work or who is guilty of the bad behavior. Reporting anything negative will raise concerns that you might be the guilty party instead of the person you're criticizing.

Adopting the "what do I have to gain and what do I have to lose" approach to every conversation allow you to be seen as smart, not dishonest. This doesn't apply only to job interviews. This ability to analyze the results of your words before speaking will help you in all conversations, business and personal. If you make a conscious effort to do it, it will eventually become a habit. The result will be that you won't have to fear making negative remarks that not only hurt others, but hurt you in the long run. This doesn't just pertain to interviews.

Gossip is also always wrong, as one never has the right to talk about someone. If someone asks you a detailed question about a person, you are not required to answer. It might make a person feel part of the group, but being part of a negative group is a lame goal. There are many things one should and shouldn't say to others, regardless of who that person is. Since it's hard to keep track what you say to people, it's easier to make a habit of being positive, or just being polite if you think being enthusiastic about someone is an outright lie.

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