Q: I have managed a large residential rental property for more than five years now. I handle property problems, as well as problems within the apartments. That means I hear every complaint from dirt, bugs and burnt-out bulbs in the hallways to maintenance men not doing their jobs to leaks and everything else residents see. Some problems are obviously more pressing than others, such as leaks, exposed electrical wiring and mold, but tenants expect everything to be handled at once.

What people seem to not understand is that many of those requested "fixes" are not required and that replacing certain things is at my discretion. I assume they don't know that because when they come into my office, many are rude, ornery and aggressive with their demands, as if I were their slave and must do as I am told. For example, we don't repaint apartments every year on the same lease; that would be too much painting over paint and too great an expense for the building. But if a resident is very nice and asks me about possible repainting, I may be able to get it done.

You would think every resident would behave politely when asking for something to be changed or fixed, but they don't. If the repair is a safety, structural or health-related issue, of course I immediately put through a work order. Outside of that, tenants are on their own for desired changes — changing paint colors or refreshing what's there, replacing carpeting, tiles or faucets with minor blemishes, etc. That's where kindness pays big-time. No one likes helping someone who is rude, demanding and whiny, including me. Yet people don't seem to understand the value of a good attitude. Why would I help people who come in demanding or yelling at me for things they want? I won't.

Property management is a hard field, and some managers have hardened through the years and are too cynical to be kind. But we are not all alike, and people need to stop viewing vendors and people in service industries as indentured servants. I hope you agree.

A: A kind act is priceless and should always be appreciated at work and in life in general, but there are many degrees on the continuum of kindness to rudeness. Kindness could possibly lead a manager down the path to favoritism, which is clearly not fair to those not favored for whatever reasons. For example, some people are shy and may come across as unfriendly, even though they may offer to be helpful, whereas others have warm and entertaining personalities but may actually not be so helpful, and those latter people may be better-liked. It's understandable to want to reward someone you like, but unwarranted favoritism could pose greater problems than evenly distributed harshness, especially when those being favored take advantage of the situation.

It's a good practice to reward people who always come through for you in their work and in their respect for you. In your case, someone who approaches you politely is showing respect for your managerial role. No one likes to be treated rudely, but unexplained rudeness poses a different type of challenge for you as a manager. Managers who can defuse a person's anger are highly valued. This is no excuse for a tenant to be demeaning, rude or crude to you, but there is also no reason to reward those who know how to turn on the charm to get what they want.

Any situation can be calmly explained if the goal in managing is to be fair. Be careful if using discretionary powers to reward people for being more pleasant than others, especially if word gets out about favoritism.

Email your questions to workplace expert Lindsey Novak at [email protected], and follow her on Twitter @I_truly_care. To find out more about Lindsey Novak and to read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.