March 4, 2020

By Marcy Sugar

By Kathy Mitchell

March 4, 2020 4 min read

Dear Annie: My husband and I are recently retired teachers who have been able to travel extensively because we budgeted well. I have motion sickness and other health issues that make traveling unpleasant. I want to do less of it, but my husband wants to do more.

My passion for retirement was always to volunteer. Several retired teachers set up a store filled with donations where our students can shop for free. I help out three afternoons a week. Many of the retired teachers have mobility issues and rely on me to carry donated items. When I travel, the others take turns doing the heavy work, but I know it is a struggle for them.

My husband's idea of retirement is to spend at least three months as "snowbirds" in Florida. This doesn't appeal to me at all, but as a compromise, I reluctantly agreed to spend one month each year in Florida.

The first year was tolerable, but after a week, I was bored and missed my volunteer work. I told my husband he was free to stay, but I would return when my month was up. I've looked into volunteer opportunities in Florida, but everything is at least 30 minutes away, and we only have one car, which my husband uses to go golfing.

I have kept my part of the agreement and am getting annoyed at the pressure from my husband to spend more time in Florida. He knows he can invite other relatives or friends to join him. I realize these are "high-class worries," but do you have any suggestions for resolving this before we start up again next year? — M.W.

Dear M.W.: Your husband wants you with him, which is why he keeps pressuring you. Would you consider going for a month in the middle of those months so your husband would feel less alone? How about investing in a second car so you can do volunteer work in Florida, or perhaps finding a place to play golf that is within walking distance? There are ways to compromise a bit more if you truly wish to make the effort, but meanwhile, tell your husband we said to knock off the full-court press.

Dear Annie: Please allow me to use your column to say thank you to someone. I was in a restaurant in The Villages in Florida waiting for my check when the manager came over and said my dinner was already taken care of. Apparently, a woman paid my bill, saying she was paying forward a kindness that someone else had once done for her.

I would like to thank her publicly and assure her that I will be paying it forward as she did for me. — B.

Dear B.: We are always happy to hear of such kindnesses. We have many fans in The Villages, and we hope whoever bought your dinner will see this and know that it was appreciated, and that you will be doing the same for someone else. Thanks for letting us know.

Dear Annie: I disagree with your advice to "Trying To Build a Better Life in the Midwest" to seek ways to accommodate her husband's sexual desires.

My wife decided in her early 50s that she was tired of sex. I decided that respecting her wishes superseded all "desires of the flesh." A woman has the right to say "no," and any man who has been married for 35 years should have the wisdom to turn his attention to matters other than his sexual appetite.

For me, that meant accepting my wife's requests in order to avoid harassing her. My wife is a beautiful woman and the mother of our adult children. Her attention to the family's needs and her detail in maintaining a beautiful home are examples of why sex is no longer a priority in my life. — Respect for the Woman I Love

This Classic Annie's Mailbox column was originally published in 2015. To find out more about Classic Annie's Mailbox and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit Creators Syndicate at

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