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Sylvia Rimm on Raising Kids by Dr. Sylvia Rimm

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Dr. Sylvia Rimm

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Ranter Makes Good Points

Q. Time magazine has an issue titled "The Case for National Service." It says America's youth should be expected to volunteer for public service. College graduates can tutor, teens can de-litter the streets, and financiers can offer credit counseling and financial advice to low-income Americans. I totally agree, but I think we shouldn't need volunteers at all.

If parents supported teachers, kids would learn their subjects in the classroom and wouldn't need tutoring. In my neighborhood, kids are outside into the wee hours of the morning. Why not have a curfew for kids under age 11? Any parent whose kid is outdoors at midnight (especially on a school night) should be charged with something and his/her photo put in the paper under a list of "bad New York City parents." It's time the parents faced accountability for their children's shortcomings.

Social problems often start when there's a huge population of young people with nothing to do. In my school, there was a culture of indulgence, and most of our students didn't have enough credits to graduate. I prefer to see kids get jobs after school and on weekends. They don't do homework or attend school regularly, so why not work? Teens need part-time jobs, but my plan for students to get jobs nosedived; all of my students failed to get jobs, despite hours of interview coaching.

If parents were held accountable for their kids' habits, we wouldn't need so many volunteer tutors. If kids had part-time jobs, there would be fewer kids on the streets getting into trouble. Thanks for listening. I need to rant every now and then.

A. Many adults are frustrated by children who take privileges for granted and are irresponsible. And, indeed, parents need to support teachers and vice versa. Respect between adults and insistence by parents that children respect teachers would indeed empower educators to teach children better, but I doubt that embarrassing parents in the newspapers about their children's behaviors would improve their parenting.
It might even discourage their children further.

While I think it's excellent for teens to have part-time jobs and not take so much for granted, encouraging them to volunteer to help others could also help them become healthier young people. There will always be children who need tutoring, streets that should be de-littered and people who can use advice from volunteers who are willing to give of their time. The beauty of volunteer work is that it helps those who volunteer as much as those whom the volunteers assist. There's nothing quite like altruism for building self-confidence, responsibility and appreciation for one's own life.

While we all occasionally need to rant and rave to cope with our frustrations, there's nothing better than doing good for others to make us appreciate what we already have, and that holds true for teens as well as for adults. The happiest people seem to be those who commit to helping others, whether it's part of their official careers or what they do in their world outside of work. Thanks for reminding us again that we can all make a difference in our imperfect world.

For free newsletters about helping girls build optimism and resilience, raising amazing boys or a parent-teacher united front, send a large self-addressed, stamped envelope to P.O. Box 32, Watertown, WI, 53094, or go to www.sylviarimm.com for more information.

Dr. Sylvia B. Rimm is the director of the Family Achievement Clinic in Cleveland, Ohio, a clinical professor of psychiatry and pediatrics at the Case Western Reserve University School of Medicine, and the author of many books on parenting. More information on raising kids is available at www.sylviarimm.com. Please send questions to: Sylvia B. Rimm on Raising Kids, P.O. Box 32, Watertown, WI 53094 or srimm@sylviarimm.com. To read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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Originally Published on Sunday April 27, 2008

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Also available from Dr. Sylvia Rimm: Growing Up Too Fast: The Secret World of America's Middle Schoolers


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