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Maybe the Cougar Doesn't Fit, but She Might Still Be Delusional
One fact has gotten lost in all the give-and-take between If the Cougar Fits, me and you. And that fact is that if she dates these guys who are 20-plus years younger than her, she's going to keep it a secret from her kids, the oldest of whom is 17.
…Read more.
My Ears Are Still Burning
The fallout continues over the column about Diane, whose firefighter husband left her for a paramedic who worked at his firehouse.
She wondered if there are more women whose husbands had left them for female firefighters and paramedics.
"The …Read more.
My Ears Are Burning
The recent column about Diane, whose firefighter husband left her for a paramedic who worked at his firehouse, touched off, well, a firestorm.
This is what enflamed everyone:
"I wonder if there are more women who've lost their husbands to …Read more.
Who Needs a Degree When You've Got Love?
We recently heard from Not My Son-In-Law. She was the mother who was upset because her 32-year-old daughter was about to make "a terrible mistake."
The very successful, never-married daughter was dating a 45-year-old widower who had a …Read more.
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He Committed Not to CommitDear Cheryl, My friend is suffering from a broken heart. She won't listen to anything I say, but she reads your column regularly and may listen to you. She went back to her small town for her 25th high-school reunion and reconnected with a fellow she grew up with. They started dating almost immediately, making a long commute each way, but neither of them seemed to mind. She was twice divorced, and he was divorced once. She told me quite happily early on in their relationship that they were in total agreement that they didn't want any commitment. Famous last words! Things were hot and heavy for over a year. I was one of the friends who said they were perfect for each other. Then she told me he'd popped the question. She answered, "Oh, no, I don't believe in marriage! I'll never make that mistake again!" Then she scolded him for forgetting their "no-commitment" agreement. He backpedaled and said he was just letting her know that if marriage was what she wanted, he'd be willing. They agreed to continue as before, but it was the beginning of the end. He called less and less often and then stopped altogether. Now she's hurting. She says he's like all the other men in her life, who leave her. I said he was probably very hurt about her turning down his proposal, even though he said he wasn't. She goes on and on about how heartbroken she is, but still says she would never consider getting married again. I don't think marriage was the problem; I think it was the two men she was married to.
Dear Good Friend, Let's call your friend Jill and her ex-boyfriend Jack. Here's what I think happened. Jack was being honest when he said he didn't want a commitment. But then he fell in love and changed his mind — it happens! — then he proposed. He believed if she loved him as much as he loved her, she'd want to marry him. And he may have been right. At any rate, something had fundamentally shifted in their relationship, and it wasn't possible for things to go back to the way they were. Woody Allen said relationships are like sharks — they have to move forward or they die. Jill is foolish to see herself as the wronged party. If she doesn't want to marry again, that's her business. But Jack didn't leave her — she rejected him. Lonely but Not Alone wrote in recently about her sexless marriage. GRETCHEN: "My ex-husband was the same way. We had sex once a month — at the most — but only because I begged and annoyed him so much he would give in just to shut me up. "Trust me. There wasn't another woman or man. He just wasn't into sex. Luckily, I was young enough and didn't have any kids, so I was able to leave him after counseling didn't work and he refused to see a doctor. Thank God I did. Let's just say his new wife has the same problem with him. LBNA should run if her husband won't do anything about their sex life." Got a problem? Send it to cheryllavinrapp@gmail.com. To find out more about Cheryl Lavin, and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit www.creators.com. COPYRIGHT 2012 CREATORS.COM
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