The Boss Goes on a World Tour: Romney in a World of EmployeesOn tour with the employee handbook, uber boss Mitt Romney reminds the British that they need to look busy, tells those bedsheet-wrapped Palestinians to get going on free enterprise and gets snubbed by the Poles because, unlike American workers, the Poles know a union-busting boardroom layabout when they see one. Not too many weeks ago, I wrote that I don't like Mitt Romney because he's every dollar-kissing boss I ever had, stapled together and running for CEO (I mean president) of Walmart (I mean America). Watch Mittsy tour Europe, and you can see what working Americans will get if we elect this rich beanbag to what, until recently, was an office of great prestige. But prestige is a hard sell in the proud nation of Goldman Sachs (I mean America), where the people who run the businesses that lay us off and then hire us back part-time tell us that only "business leaders" can save America. Ever ask your boss how much he makes? It's like asking Mittsy how much he paid in taxes, although people are starting to suggest Mittsy could answer that in one word, and the word isn't "lots." The only time the rich get shy about money is when you want to know about THEIR money. They have no problem telling you that you can't possibly be paid more than $8.50 an hour. For deboning pig carcasses. In the dark. In the parts of Europe where there is still some mitigation of the bosses' will, Mittsy is coming off like one of those red-rubber-nose bosses who fires you for taking time off to loaf at your brother's wake. You'd think Mittsy at least would be enough of a social climber to suck up to the British.
Listen very carefully to Mittsy's dismissive, boob-ish utterances out on the foreign campaign trail. That's the kind of "hey, you, look busy" talk you're gonna hear if Mitt makes it to The White (once again) House. Europe confuses Mittsy. He's used to America, where you can tell hungry people that their hunger is their own fault, where you can tell $15-an-hour unionized workers that they make an obscene, nation-crippling amount of money, where you can spray a broad stream of urine on the working class even as you send their children out to die in one of those few countries George W. Bush could find on a map. Yeah, Mittsy. The boss. And doesn't he sound like one? He likes compassion, but he doesn't like that $378-a-month welfare check compassion. That's weak, liberal compassion, and it destroys people. He likes that manly, strong compassion that lifts up the exhausted rich and helps them into the limo and sends them to lunch at a place with cloth napkins so they can get on with the business of creating part-time, no union, no benefits, $9-an-hour jobs. That kind of compassion makes the dressage industry (I mean America) strong. Remember these warm days when Mittsy spoke to the Europeans as though they were valet parking his Volvo. Because you may get to hear that kind of talk from Mittsy's own lips. Much closer to home. Now, get back to work. To find out more about Marc Munroe Dion and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit www.creators.com. COPYRIGHT CREATORS.COM 2012 
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